In abysmally dumb so-called thriller "9 Bullets" Lena Headey's a retiring burlesque dancer (for no particular reason) who goes on the run with obnoxiously over-confident brat kid Dean Scott Vazquez (poor)) after his family's slain by the cartoonish henchmen of clichéd mobster Sam Worthington - who of course come after them (yawn). The worst aspect is the annoyingly unrealistic writing from Gigi Gaston (who also directs) and the crass, dislikable resultant characters (especially Vazquez - so bad)) and their cringe-worthy relationships & dialogues. It's painful to endure, just awful - Heady & Worthington are SO much better than crap like this. A turd.
9 Bullets
2022
Action / Thriller
Plot summary
A burlesque dancer must go on the run to save a neighbor boy whose life is threatened by her ex-lover.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
Director
Tech specs
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU 720p.WEB 1080p.WEBMovie Reviews
Abysmally cringe-worthily dumb - Headey & Worthington are so much better than this
Can you hold Bitcoin in your hand?
Gypsy Moon (Lena Headey) scored a contract as an author and is going to quit working as a stripper and escort. Meanwhile Ralph is Jack's (Sam Worthington) accountant who has absconded with some money. Ralph and family end up dead leaving his son Sam (Dean Scott Vazquez) who has the I pad to access the money. Sam hides out at Gypsy's house and Jack's thugs want the pad and the boy dead. We end up with a fairly low intensity chase scene.
The attempted to make a crime story into something about human connections, a feel good story. The genres never mix well and they didn't do a good job at either. Nice stereotype making the accountant Jewish. Re-watch "Gloria" instead.
Guide: F-word, sex, nudity (Lena Headey)
Amateur production that was more sappy and cheesy than a suspenseful thriller.
Novice producer, writer and director Gigi Gaston was ok (for a newb) in her directing, but her screenplay was more of a high school drama class caliber. It felt like a Lifetime meets Hallmark movie (especially with the sappy score),but with a frustratingly poorly written derivative plot-hole riddled unconvincing script. The lovely Lena Headey tried her best, but you can tell that Gaston's inexperience in cast direction failed most of the other actors, even the young and spunky Dean Scott Vazquez who became overbearingly annoying very quickly. The editing was also horrible as many scenes were too choppy and confusing. It almost felt like the screenplay was only a few pages long, and everyone just winged it as the cameras rolled. I did watch it until the end, and it did have it's decent moments, and as such, is certainly not deserving of all these ridiculous 1's and 2's, especially since the filmmaker is a newb. It's a 6/10 from me, mostly for Headey who tried her best, and looked great doing so.