A small airplane crashes into a 747, taking out nearly the entire crew of flight 409, and only the stewardess can land the plane! Such is the plot of Airplane 1975, but that thin story doesn't matter. You're coming here for starpower and you're gonna get it, baby!

Charlton Heston (the undisputed 1960's and 1970's king of the post-apocalyptic film, between Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green and The Omega Man) is Captain Alan Murdock and he's the only person who can save the day, with heroics that include being dropped into a plane that's actually in flight! Karen Black (Trilogy of Terror, Burnt Offerings) is his girlfriend and the air hostess charged with keeping the plane aloft.

The doomed flight crew is played by Efram Zimbalist, Jr., Roy Thinnes from TV's The Invaders and Erik Estrada. It's shocking just how sexist they are with the rest of the in-flight crew and even more shocking just how much the ladies like it. The 1970's were a doomed time when women just had to take the sexual harassment and like it, or return it back in kind.

Then there's Gloria Swanson playing herself (Greta Garbo was the original plan) with Linda Harrison from Planet of the Apes as her assistant. Strangely, Harrison renamed herself Augusta Summerland for this movie.

And then there's Myrna Loy as an alcoholic actress in the role originally meant for Joan Crawford! Three drunk guys (Jerry Stiller, Norman Fell and Conrad Janis) who would go on to be dads in sitcoms! Sid Caesar as a guy who can't keep his mouth shut! Linda Blair as a sick girl who just wants to listen to Helen Reddy perform as a singing nun! And Patroni's wife (Susan Clark from TV's Webster, who was spotted by the eagle eyed Becca) and son are on the flight, too!

Airport 1975 is big, bombastic and stupid. And it's also awesome. It's pure escapism and is devoted to entertaining you. It's also a film packed with men patronizing women, calling them honey and yelling at them when they can't get their stuff together.

This movie was included in "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time (and how they got that way)" by Harry Medved. However, after finally getting to see it, I think it was not nearly bad enough to make it to the book. Now I am not saying it's good--after all, I gave it a 3--but it just isn't THAT bad a film.

Now parts of the film are really bad--in particular the first half or so. The biggest problem was the wretched dialog--and especially all the inappropriate sexist remarks and double-entendres coming from the flight crew. At times, it sounded more like a Matt Helm film than an air disaster film! Also the film made the mistake of having way too many "guest stars" and spent too much time bouncing around--making it look choppy and amateurish (despite the big budget). In fact, all the guest stars with all their assorted problems made the film seem a lot like the movie AIRPORT morphed with THE LOVE BOAT!! Silly, soapy and sappy---that about sums it up.

Once the action starts later in the film, it improves greatly--though you certainly have to suspend disbelief to accept the premise. Think about it--a guy has to tether from a helicopter through a tiny hole in order to fly a stricken 747 in mid-flight! At least, though, there were far fewer guest shots here and the dialog centered more on the plot. There was some genuine tension and excitement--too bad it didn't make much sense.

By the way, is it just me or did it look like Gloria Swanson had her head waxed for the film? Take a close look and you should easily see what I mean. Her entire head is shiny as if dipped in wax or sprayed with cooking spray! Perhaps this was some "clever" way to make the aging star look young, but to me it just made her look really strange.

Bad, but certainly not among the top 1000 worst films ever made--let alone top 50. It is worth watching if you want to see where AIRPLANE got all it's inspiration--too bad, at times, it's hard to tell they're not BOTH meant to be comedies!

Airport 1975 gets as many as four stars for the nice special effects and for the efforts of a whole lot of high priced talent headed by Charlton Heston to keep a straight face while getting through this improbable story.

Karen Black who's Heston's gal pal is the chief stewardess on a transcontinental flight when Dana Andrews's private plane hits it midair as Andrews suffers a heart attack. The crash kills co-pilot Roy Thinnes and blinds pilot Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. What to do, but let the stewardess take over.

Which Black does as the airline folks headed by Heston and George Kennedy try an absolutely impossible rescue. What they try and succeed in doing the second time around could never happen in real life. But this is the movies folks.

The usual collection of high priced talent is on the passenger list and several generations of Hollywood are represented by people from Gloria Swanson playing herself to young Linda Blair as a kid who is flying to Los Angeles for a kidney transplant and is critically off her dialysis machine for the duration of the flight. I expected Linda's head to start turning as it was made clear it was the Devil that made this situation happen.

Myrna Loy is there too as a woman with quite an intake. I'm not so sure that wasn't real boilermakers she was downing in order to get through the film.

Of course the whole plot premise is shamelessly ripped off from the Doris Day film Julie. It was ridiculous then and still is ridiculous.