The plot: Three friends encounter a malevolent alien after driving in an RV and a field of cattle die from some sort of bloody infection.

I must say, the cow corpses are pretty nasty for those who do not like to see raw meat. And the blood and gore in this film in general is pretty decent, definitely something worth checking out if you are into that.

I think the one guy does a great Rod Serling impression, and later they run into a Talky Tina doll. Someone clearly loved "Twilight Zone"...

The Indian family was very weird, not unlike the guy from "Short Circuit". I am amused by how non-Indian the daughter looks compared to her parents.

Here we have yet another crappy B-movie hiding under a number of different titles to try and get unsuspecting horror fans to watch it, I found it under the title of MUTANT II although it bears absolutely no similarity to the first film in any way, shape or form. Instead what we have is a Spanish-set (because it was cheap to film there, I guess) teen movie which occasionally has a small, pathetic alien monster pop up to kill off minor cast members before disappearing again.

I pretty much hated most of this movie, even down to the rip-off title. You'll often find it sitting in "worst movie" threads and in this case I would be forced to agree, as I found very little indeed to enjoy. The best thing the film has going for it is Dennis Christopher. Christopher has made a career starring in junk like this (anyone see THE SILENCERS? Don't!) and to be honest, he's the life and soul of the film. At least he's the only guy to actually try and act and, although his character is irritating in the extreme, you still end up liking him. Unlike the other two "teenage" stars Martin Hewitt and Lynn-Holly Johnson; unbelievable and wooden are two good words to describe their particular acting style.

Hmm I couldn't care less about the plot of this film, not that there really is much of one. For a start, we see a space pod land on earth and five years later a cow gives birth to an alien monster in a pretty yucky scene. Dogs arrive and begin eating the entrails before they are dragged yelping inside the bloody carcass. Sounds good huh? Well it would be apart from the fact you can see glimpses of human hands pulling the dog inside the body of the cow. It kind of ruins the effect.

Well, shortly after this we meet up with the three teens and their camper van or whatever the hell it is they're riding in. There's a love triangle thing going on with this trio and it gets boring really quickly. Sadly they use it to pad out lots of scenes so prepare to put your finger on the fast-forward button. Anyway, the teens and a couple of suspicious scientists all converge on a sleepy little village. It turns out there's a scientific research institute hidden underground in an old building (!) and a scientist is trying to control the contamination. The alien predator can spread from person to person and also impregnates them (hmm, where have we heard that before?).

Unexplainedly the townsfolk (whom we never actually SEE) block the only exit from the town and run around in armoured vehicles killing off various innocent folk. For a moment I thought I was watching a re-run of DUEL again as characters engage in various night-time car chases while cheesy '80s music plays in the background and credibility goes out of the window. Half an hour goes by without any mention of the alien whatsoever! In the end the film just kind of finishes without any resolution and the "threatening" monster is killed in the lamest way imaginable, being wiped off somebody's windscreen with the windscreen wipers and crushed under the wheel of the car. I'm not sure if this was a spoof on the old horror convention of having indestructible monsters but it wasn't a very funny one at that. A shame because the special effects of the briefly-seen slimy arachnid monster are pretty cool, it's just a shame that the creature is so small as to hardly pose any threat whatsoever.

Filled with boring scenes of action, bad acting from most of the cast and poorly-produced to boot, I can't really see any reason to recommend this film at all. All I can say is that some of the special effects are yucky but these are only glimpsed due to the low budget. As for being scary, well no, but actually some of the weirdo townsfolk are pretty creepy (the guy in the spooky mask and the wild-haired waitress are but two) and more frightening than the actual monster in the film. My best advice is to avoid this no-budget mess of a film and actually get something substantial instead.

No prizes for guessing which two Hollywood blockbusters of the '80s inspired the title for this schlocky B-movie (clue: it's not Tootsie and Ghostbusters, although Tootsie Ghostbusters is a great name for a band). Unfortunately, the title is about as close as Alien Predator comes to either Ridley Scott's sci-fi/horror masterpiece or Arnie's testosterone-fuelled action classic: it's a shoddy mess that rarely makes sense, with characters that will test the patience of even the most forgiving of viewers, and not nearly enough in the way of 'alien predators' (unless you count a couple of really shonky spider-like puppets).

The film's main characters are friends Damon (Dennis Christopher),Michael (Martin Hewitt) and Samantha (Lynn-Holly Johnson),whose European vacation takes an unexpected turn when they visit the Spanish town of Duarte, where an alien microbe - brought to Earth when Skylab fell out of the sky - is infecting the locals. With help from NASA scientist Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes),the three friends attempt to destroy the aliens, come up with an antidote, escape from the infected townsfolk, and resume their road-trip through Spain.

According to IMDb's trivia, director Deran Sarafian intention was to mimic the humour of An American Werewolf in London, with chirpy banter between the two male leads, both of whom are vying for the affection of Samantha. To say that Sarafian failed is an understatement: Damon comes across as a thoroughly annoying jerk, while Michael is simply bland, and their quips feel forced and unfunny. Lynn-Holly Johnson looks great, but she's a terrible actress and also grates on the nerves (there's not even a shower scene to compensate).

Sarafian's inability to successfully emulate John Landis's brand of comedy/horror also results in some truly bizarre 'WTF?' moments that have to be seen to be believed: a weird waitress's hair suddenly frizzes into a giant mess; a mysterious truck inexplicably crushes a man in a creepy mask; there's a flying doll (called Talking Tina) with chicken legs; and a FIAT chases Michael in his buggy in what must be some of the least exciting stunt driving committed to film (despite Michael's claim to be Hollywood's number one driver).

Just occasionally, the film manages to deliver the goods - a dog being pulled into the carcass of a dead bull is delightfully daft, a lumpy corpse is cut open with sufficiently gloopy results, a creature erupts from a man's face in a welter of goo - but these scenes only serve to highlight just how terrible the rest of the movie is.

3.5 out fo 10, rounded down to 3 for using the same explosion twice and hoping that the viewer won't notice, and for spelling FX guy Mark Shostrom's name wrong in the end credits.