"Alvin Purple" is surely one of the most boring movies ever made. Sure, it's got quite a bit of nudity (most of it from its unattractive star, Graeme Blundell),but you'll need to fast-forward through much of its run-time if that's all you want to get out of it.

It's also not amusing in the least. There is not one laugh to be had throughout its estimated 4 hour length.

The plot is something about a boring, ugly guy who is irresistible to women but does not reciprocate this attraction. He's not gay, just not interesting enough to be interested. In anything.

I think the filmmakers took cues from "The Graduate", with its inert, homely star and his paramour. In this one there's more sex, less humour, and above all, more tedium. It's one of those movies where it feels like nothing happens for the longest part of it. There's an endless court scene which leads to a car chase and then something to do with sky diving...

Oh, and of course the one woman Alvin is really interested in, the goody two shoes who never takes her clothes off despite being better looking than all the ones who do. At this point I am forced to conclude that Graeme Blundell's Alvin is not just unattractive, but repulsive. I couldn't watch this movie toward the end and I may as well blame him as its most visible target. I pray to god I never have to sit through this again.

Opening with an act of sexual assault Alvin Purple chronicles the adventures of Greame Blundell's sexual addiction and the difficultly of finding an Australian actress with an attractive face. The film flashes back to Purple's high school years where the same problems exist along with every leading male in an Australian film or television show looking exactly the same for forty years. For a counter cultural sexploitation film it has no qualms with using Benny Hill material. We skip to Alvin's 21st birthday where we're introduced to the various middle aged homosexual relatives in Alvin Purple's life along with a montage of bogan disco and the viewer begins feeling frustrated and wondering when an attractive actress will appear in this film. Well after watching some very awkward, uncomfortable nudity and sex scenes akin to walking in on your parents naked there appears to be some solace about twenty three minutes in with a very satisfying homage to equestrian sports somewhat marred by indulgent psychedelic (lazy) coverage and editing. Anyway, we go through a number of pointless episodic sequences of Alvin as a waterbed salesman we're introduced to Purple's psychiatrist who works with the sex addict's obsession and lack of pleasure. This leads to more episodic sequences and Benny Hill sketches eventually leading to Purple being a sex therapist again letting the viewer wait until an attractive female appears on screen. In this case it's 50 minutes into the film. Of course, this brothel of one is uncovered, Purple goes to court and the film ends with a 70s car chase. It's all very uncreative, unsuspenful and uninteresting and most likely because of its budgetary limits and crappy screenplay so eagerly looking for respect or mainstream appeal when it should just accept its sexploitation leanings.

A tremendous film that is an excellent example of the Ocker films that characterized Australian cinema in the early 70s. Alvin Purple is not a good looking man, in fact you could say that he is pretty ugly. Nor is he funny or a man of great character in any sense. But somehow, for reasons unknown, he is irresistible to women. He attracts women wherever he goes: on the bus, in the park, even just walking down the street.

The film contains a significant amount of sex and could be classified as a soft porn movie, but the sex is not for erotic purposes, but for comedic purpose as the audience cannot stop laughing as this awkward man who seems to know nothing about women has sex more times in a week than most people do in a lifetime.

But there is more to the movie than just comedic sex, the film is also a character piece as it shows the alienation that Alvin feels as he struggles to make his way through life. The multitude of sex that Alvin engages in contrasts his life of total isolation, as he tries to find someone that he can truly connect with.

This film is truly an original and a must for students of film. Australian Cinema has an amazing history and the Ocker Films and Alvin Purple are an instrumental part of it.