The fearlessly inventive 'Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh' is not merely a sensationally sanguineous show-reel for supreme splatter-sensation Tom Savini, but a top-ten, gag-heavy, terminally titillating, superlatively strange, gorgeously gore-loaded, bodaciously bloody, fleshly fabulous, eerily Egyptian 90s horror comedy, that didn't so much raise the bloodthirsty B-Movie bar, but savagely shove it down your throat!!!! Yet again, running entirely contrary to the many naysayers, 90s horror delivered some perversely piledriving, diabolically grisly, death-dealing doozies!

A chainsaw-wielding killer is on the loose in our hometown, collecting body parts like a Yinzer Fuad Ramses, as the clues all point to this being an Egyptian ritual of the dead.

This may be more amusing if you're from here, as the film gives you the opportunity to see plenty of the Lawrenceville neighborhood when it was just another blighted part of the end of the steel industry and not the artsy mecca that it is today.

Director Dean Tschetter was unhappy with how the film ended up, so he took an Alan Smithee credit. That makes sense, as the film is a ramshackle unfocused mess, unsure if it wants to be a broad or black comedy and barely holding itself together, kind of like if it were edited with a chainsaw.

Sweeney Birdwell (Jake Dengel) and Joe Blocker (Joe Sharkey) are the cops fumbling in the dark - I've said it so often, but defund both the giallo and slasher police - as they seek a killer leaving Egyptian messages at each crime scene. Luckily, meter maid Deedee Taylor (Susann Fletcher) has arrived from Vegas, the daughter of Blocker's last partner who went missing after a similar case, and she seems to have some clue about what's happening.

This is the kind of movie that would have you believe that there's an Egyptian district of Pittsburgh. The closest thing I can think of is that there used to be an Egyptian place in Penn Hills that had a hookah lounge that served fried chicken and you were encouraged to eat while you smoked.

Birdwell's wife smokes so much that she leaves mountains of ashes around the house, Veronica Hart shows up as the next victim, Egyptian ninjas (man, it seems like the term Egyptian is an SEO search term in this review) and Tom Savini effects which were so badly shot and presented in the film that they waste whatever artistry the Bloomfield resident brought to the film.

I wish I could tell you that this is some long-lost slasher classic, but it's not. Watch it to see the Doughboy statue on full display, but otherwise, if you live anywhere outside of the Golden Triangle, you may avoid.

Pittsburgh cops Joe Blocker (Joe Sharkey) and Sweeney Birdwell (Jake Dengel) are in charge of finding a serial killer who is carving up prostitutes with a variety of gardening tools. It all seems so familiar for Blocker as the case echoes an Egyptian killer he almost nabbed in Las Vegas. He sends for his old Vegas partner, but gets his daughter Deedee (Susann Fletcher) instead. Why? Because it seems her dad is mysteriously missing. Another in the line of BLOOD FEAST wannabes (alongside the likes of BLOOD DINER),BPIP is something I didn't like when I first saw it on video back in 1991. So, naturally, I must revisit it 20+ years later to confirm, yup, it still sucks. The filmmakers openly compare this horror-comedy to AIRPLANE, but I'd think you'd have to include some jokes to do that. It certainly tries to be funny, but fails miserably. Example of humor: Blocker slipping on a severed ear while chasing a suspect. The recurring joke is Blocker gets ill any time he sees blood and people always say "I hear he has a sexual problem" when he is mentioned. Haha? The highlight for me was Birdwell's wife taking anti-smoking sessions, one of which ends with her being blasted by a water hose by some guys in gorilla costumes. It is a shame it didn't come together better because the production looks really nice with some great photography. Tom Savini did the gory FX, most of which ended up on the cutting room floor for the Paramount VHS release. The Lucky 13 special edition features the cut stuff in a deleted scenes supplement and it is pretty good work from the man.