When I stumbled upon this 2021 movie from writer and director Vincent Caldoni, I must admit that the synopsis for the movie was actually selling the movie well enough. At least it made me pick up the movie and give it a go.

And wow, this movie was tedious and so incredibly slow paced and boring that it was a drag to sit through it. In fact, I managed to endure a painstaking 45 minutes of the ordeal that is known as "Contactee", then I gave up out of sheer and utter boredom.

The movie is listed as a sci-fi movie, I suppose pure undiluted boredom is not a movie genre, huh?

The storyline told in "Contactee" was just devoid of anything even remotely interesting and the story dragged on at an incredible snail pace. It is virtually one of the most boring and mundane movies I have had the misfortune of suffering through - well, partially through, to be honest. Yeah, the storyline just completely failed to enthrall me and offered no entertainment or enjoyment whatsoever.

"Contactee" has a small list of casted actors and actresses, and they literally had next to nothing to work with, so it was painful to watch them struggle with the lack of a script like fish out of water, flailing around trying to get along.

This was a massive swing and a miss from writer and director Vincent Caldoni, and I have absolutely no interest in returning to watch the rest of this snoozefest.

My rating of "Contactee" lands on a mere one out of ten stars. This was just a horrible experience. Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this.

Giving this a 3/10 is probably being way too generous. It only gets that because I've seen far worse that I've watched all the way through to the end. But this one could probably double nicely as the stain on the inside of one of Joe Biden's adult diapers.

Not every indie film with inexperienced actors is automatically bad, so I gave this a shot even after it was clear this was a novice project.

However, bad writing does make for a bad film, and this was bad.

"I'm not a doctor, I'm a licensed counselor."

That line resonated through my head for the rest of the film.

I realize that not every screen writer is an expert on everything they write about, but a quick google search on the words "licensed counselor" might have made it clear to the writer that this particular job does not involve stethoscopes, phlebotomy, or blood labs. Nor does it involve romantic entanglements in private cabins with patients. It definitely doesn't involve climbing into bed with a patient (particularly not a bed over which you've placed a hidden camera). Add in man-handling terrified patients and forcing pills down their throats with wine, and the entire therapist-patient relationship becomes a vision of shock and awe.

Perhaps, though, to this character, the idea of professional ethics is as confusing as it clearly is to the writer. Frankly, though, we were never given the idea that the therapist believed he was doing anything wrong. He was completely comfortable with his behavior. The film-maker seemed to be equally comfortable with it. It was supposed to be seen as "helpful" and maybe a little romantic. ::shudder::

Ultimately, aliens saying "weird" and "attagirl" were the most realistic and believable aspects of this fiasco.

Over all, this is like the film-making version of those early, terrible acts by delusional contestants on reality TV talent shows. If you get a kick out of those, this is the film for you. Or if you're just curious what the products of the modern education system are doing with their lives. Or if you just have a slow day with nothing to do and you want to see how deep the stupid goes. Answer: really, really deep.