This is a horrible, horrible movie. Every agonizing second is so unbearably corny, contrived, and clichéd. The acting, the writing, the editing, the directing...everything here was the worst it could possibly be. This is not an exaggeration...this film (if you want to call it that) is just as bad as any other kid's film you're likely to see.

Jimmy's dad just got a new job, and poor little Jimmy isn't allowed to bring his hero dog Rainey. So Jimmy, his dad, and his mean step-mother move from a small town in Illinois to New York city, meanwhile leaving the dog behind. Jimmy's new apartment is run by a couple of creepy and seemingly evil landlords who hate dogs and children. Meanwhile, Rainey escapes from the state fair where he was left back in Illinois and basically hitchhikes all the way to New York. Rainey makes it to Jimmy in New York somehow, and those mean landlords find out about it. Turns out the landlords are illegally selling animals on the side, and this dog is messing up their style. Ridiculous chaos ensues.

The actors here must've learned their technique from elementary school plays. Jen Kober and David Jensen play the two landlords, coming off as second rate Home Alone villain rejects. Kober seems to be channeling Rosie O'Donnell for her overall appearance and voice, but even Rosie would look brilliant compared to this woman. The main kid here is awful, the dad is awful, as is the step-mom. Sadly, the dog probably gave the best performance, and even the dog isn't that great.

Try to dumb yourself down for the next few paragraphs to try and understand the hilarity of the jokes. Uh oh, the dog is stuck at the county fair with the new mean owner. But whoaho, the guy falls over and the dog escapes. The gate closes and the guy has to climb over the five foot fence to get out. Derher, he fell down and we get a hilarious cartoon sound effect. Always classic. And then a bull farts on him...funny stuff. And then the dog, instead of running away, plays hide and seek, knocking over bales of hay on this guy, and being goofy. Then a cow burps...ahahaha, you can't write this stuff. Several fart and burp jokes are featured in the film, each one more clever than the last.

The dog in this movie is funny. Not only does he save a girls life, he stops purse snatchers, shoots tennis balls at some punk kids, attacks some New York thugs, covers his eyes during scary movies, plays checkers (and wins),plays guitar, plays piano, orders hot dogs and pays the hot dog vendor with the dog holding the money in it's paw, finds his way to New York city and plays hide and seek Home Alone style pranks on several different villains at various occasions. When he attacks the NY thug, the guy runs off yelling "Mommy!". When he attacks the punk kid, the kid begs the dog for forgiveness. (Makes sense?) When he plays hide and seek with the idiot bad guys, they run into each other and fall over and trip all over the place. This is the type of humor this movie features mainly. Idiots acting like idiots, with not an ounce of cleverness or freshness, to try to get four year olds at home to giggle.

Brain damage can occur three to four minutes after not breathing...but at the end of the film the dog must've been "dead" for at least five. And then he comes back alive for no reason. I'd almost give this movie a point for having the guts to kill of the dog and keep a little bit of realism, but nope, dog's alive, just apparently been playing dead for a few minutes to "build" the "dramatic tension". Just one of about fifty scenes that featured an element that made no sense, could never happen, and was completely ridiculous.

The editor of this thing sucks big time. The film here is constantly being slowed down, which always looks horrible when it's not shot in slow motion, and everything just looks sloppy. And the sound editing sucks too. Animals making noises that the animals clearly aren't making, and people saying lines that are clearly stuck in afterward. The editing is about on par with everything else in the film, so at least it isn't letting us down in comparison.

It's hard to even write a review explaining why this was so bad, because absolutely nothing worked here at all. There was not one moment that wasn't cringe worthy, except for a few establishing shots (the brief reprieve from the rest of this mess). The character motivations don't make sense and this is just a big sloppy mess of a kiddie movie. Do not let your children watch this filth. It'll lower their IQ.

My rating: BOMB out of ****. 88 mins. PG for brief mild language, and stupidity throughout.

I feel guilty for saying this movie is so unusually indescribably intellectually deficient due in part that my four year old so forcefully compelled us to watch in horror. It is like the worst 10 hours I ever spent dreaming within a dream of what happens in torture chambers. This is a must see for children that like it by themselves. I love my child. There were moments that reminded me of more entertaining movies like Elmo in Grouch Land that has something for everyone at least once. One thing I can say is that it gets right down to the action and my 4 year old went to the bathroom only once which in itself was a blessing and a curse. I heartily recommend Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, Ice Age, Ratatouille, Beauty and the Beast and anything from the Jim Henson Company. I imagine that Ned Flanders would approve. Maybe, "I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?"

My 12 year old daughter and I had a great time watching this movie together, not because it was a great movie, but because the acting was horrible! The "special effects" of the dog crying was one of our favorite parts of the movie. Another part that was really funny was when the boy's dad slides down the pole. Quality entertainment!

Christna Cambell the "actress" who plays the mean stepmother was the worst and as a result the funniest part of the movie. The boys father is the second worst actor although it was a close call.

I cannot believe these people were actually hired to act! I recommend watching it just for the purpose of laughing at its ridiculous acting!