Deadly Weapons, eh? Well, this is a film that really hardly needs an introduction. Its central idea is so memorably insane, it's difficult to forget once heard about. In fact this one has such a direct and concise story-line that it undoubtedly qualifies as a high concept movie. A woman seeks revenge on the gangsters who killed her husband. She seeks them out, seduces them and then suffocates them with her massive 73 inch breasts. And that's certainly all you really need to know about this one.

Directed by famed exploitation exponent Doris Wishman, it stars the mind-bogglingly top-heavy Chesty Morgan. Strangely enough, I found it somewhat unerotic even though I do have a predilection for women of the, shall we say, more pneumatic kind. In truth, it works mainly as a genuine oddity and one which is pretty distinctive at that. The story, after all, is hardly the point, it's all about the idea of boobs so large and deadly, they can be used as weapons. And that is, in all honesty, quite a good idea, one that I for one am fully on board with. The execution in a general sense is, however, strictly of the bargain basement variety, with its ultra-low budget always apparent. The camera-work is decidedly amateurish, the acting is universally ropey and the events depicted are consistently ridiculous. But despite all its obvious shortfalls I refuse to score this film lowly because on general principal I cannot be anything other than positive towards a film whose whole plot-line revolves around huge hooters used as deadly weaponry.

The Queen of Exploitation, Doris Wishman, brings us one of her most successful films and her most popular female superstar, Chesty Morgan (billed in this movie as "Zsa Zsa"). Where in the world did Doris Wishman find Chesty Morgan? I'm sure there's a story there. Chesty is clumsy throughout the film, she has zero talent as far as acting ability is concerned and she looks as if she is absolutely miserable in practically every scene. Her teeth are hideous, her wigs are tacky, and whomever it was that told her to get dressed for every scene in the closet in the dark should be ashamed of themselves! As is the trademark for Doris Wishman movies there are many shots of feet, lamps, and other such inanimate objects for no apparent reason (often the camera will zoom in on Chesty's monstrous breasts) but all of this makes the film more appealing in a strange and bizarre way. The plot is simple...after the mob kills her boyfriend, Crystal (played by Chesty) goes on a rampage and murders his killers using the only weapons she has....her 73 inch breasts! Yes, she actually suffocates her victims between her ample bosoms in mind boggling murder sequences that must be seen to be believed! This film was so successful that it spawned a pseudo-sequel titled "Double Agent 73" which also features Chesty and is directed by Wishman.

"Deadly Weapons", along with its sequel/cash-in "Double Agent 73", is pretty much the absolute lowest type of cinema, yet there isn't a single exploitation or cult freak out there that can afford him or herself to miss it. Go figure! This is an awful, awful movie that makes the repertoire of such questionable directors like Edward D. Wood, Bill Rebane or Andy Milligan look like genuine masterpieces, but it's definitely a curiosity to have in your collection and undeniably entertaining, BECAUSE it's so inept. Even the world's biggest bonehead knows that everything exclusively centers on Chesty Morgan's extremely over-sized (and terribly UN-sexy) balcony, yet Doris Wishman somehow attempts to make her film look like an emotional and involving revenge/drama. This makes "Deadly Weapons" even worse and a lot more pathetic than its successor "Double Agent 73"! At least that movie openly portrayed Chesty as a cheap sleaze-object and even had her jugs function as spy cameras! In "Deadly Weapons", they want us to believe her character Crystal is a tender, good-hearted and moreover intelligent – at one point it's mentioned she's the successful manager of an advertisement agency – woman, devastated over the death of her thug-boyfriend and on a mission to avenge him. She overhears the conversation between the two petty criminals that killed her lover Larry (one of them is Harry Reems!) and promptly decides to kill them. Crystal uses her charm (?) to seduce them and her humongous breasts to suffocate them. Just when she thinks justice prevailed, poor little Crystal faces the ultimate disappointment… This motion picture can only be described as a total and utter travesty, albeit a fun one. Even though it only runs for a good 75 minutes, half of the film is pure padding (Chesty taking an extended bath, Chesty sleeping naked, some random girl swimming naked…) and totally lacks direction and acting talent. This is more than just "bad 70's cinema"… This is an oddity that needs to be seen to be believed. Don't allow the 1/10 rating to put you off of seeing it.