This movie is really about Gabe and Karen (Quaid and MacDowell) - how they tackle life as a couple. The movie begins with the collapse of Tom and Beth's (Kinnear and Collette) marriage, and proceeds to show the reason. Tom and Beth are no different from any other couple who eventually drift apart after years of marriage, but the real focus here is Gabe and Karen's hand in their inevitable parting.
We learn from a flashback that Tom and Beth were initially best friends of Gabe and Karen's respectively. They were set up to fall for each other. The setting was perfect - a beach house, a sunset, and both were in the thirties and ripe for marriage. Later however, we gather the truth about each person, and why the marriage was foredoomed to failure. What is impressive though, is that despite the unravelling of each person's flaws, we don't despise the characters. The flaws are realistic and it's easy for us to find them in our friends and perhaps in ourselves.
Tom and Beth are full of resentment, towards each other and towards Gabe and Karen. They have recently realized that they were not meant for each other, and they were just products of Gabe and Karen's subconscious manipulations. They had fallen into Gabe and Karen's perfect setting - having their best friends fall in love with each other and living out the rest of their lives together as a foursome. Tom and Beth even have two daughters as a foil to Gabe and Karen's two sons!
The movie reveals something I've noticed in many friendships. There is a dominant personality and there is a submissive one. The dominant friend has a dream of how his life should be and his submissive friend falls agreeably into the role created for him in that dream. It is like a script the dominant friend has written. He naturally writes himself into the Lead Actor role and he proceeds to create the role of Supporting Actor for his submissive friend.
Gabe and Karen's script involved growing old together as a foursome. The plot of their story had been written for four actors. Unfortunately they hadn't counted on Tom and Beth's withdrawal from their roles as supporting actors. Deprived of their backboard, Gabe and Karen are suddenly alone, and they realize that they have no idea how to handle their encroaching middle-age years without their four-way script beneath them. More importantly, they realize that they haven't had the need to communicate solely with each other until now and they have no idea how to do it.
The ending of the movie doesn't tell you if they wind up solving their problem. It just shows you how they tackle it - they begin to rewrite the script. However this time, there are no supporting actor roles as fallbacks. They have to learn to just rely upon each other as they grow old together.
My rating: 10/10
Dinner with Friends
2001
Comedy / Drama / Romance
Dinner with Friends
2001
Comedy / Drama / Romance
Plot summary
This candid, often-funny drama explores the bittersweet side of friendship through the eyes of two best-friend married couples. Invited to dinner at the suburban home of husband-and-wife food critics Gabe and Karen, Beth reveals she's breaking up with her husband Tom after 12 years of marriage and two children. This unexpected revelation forces Gabe and Karen to reevaluate their seemingly perfect relationship, as well as their friendship with two people who seem to be refusing the life they all once worked so hard to preserve. The drama is set in present-day Connecticut and New York City, with flashbacks to Martha's Vineyard twelve-and-a-half years earlier.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
Director
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It's about the machinations of friendship and how a couple handle their growing old together.
In life, you have to make choices. Your own.
Two couples, upper middle class and no financial problems: four friends. They marry at about the same time, each have two kids, they spend a lot of time together, *best* friends... And then, one of them split up.
The movie, by the way of dialogs, shows how each of the four's world is shaken up, as their unspoken contract, namely, to raise their kids together, to grow old together, is broken. Questions: Whose fault is the breakup, husband's or wife's? Which couple has it right: those, who stick to marriage or those who break out of the rut? Who has the right to judge: those who keep to their marriage vows, or those who acknowledge that their relationship has been a lie? Can we demand that our friends always tell us the truth? How do we react when our closest friends question the unspoken foundations of our lives? The movie follows the actions and reactions of our characters in this situation. Nobody is right, nobody is wrong. In a way, everybody is right. That is what makes the movie interesting. The men act the way men act, and the women act the way women act. The questions are not really answered, they are debated, and the movie shows that completely grown-up people are really unable to answer them.
I liked the performances of the actors. Andie McDowell was as beautiful as she always is. I also liked the two guys. The environment, the camera, etc. seemed just right. But the most interesting were the dialogs. So, if you like movies in which people investigate themselves, their lives, and their relationships, without giving you a definite answer what to do, you may enjoy this movie.
Match makers
Having seen Donald Margulies' play when it opened in New York, I was interested in what Norman Jewison, the director, had done with it for the screen version. It helps that Mr. Margulies did his own adaptation, although, it appears to this viewer, the stage version was more satisfying. Not that there's anything wrong with the film, it's just that the cast in the play was far superior than these well intentioned actors we see in the movie. Mr. Margulies has tried to open his play, but it just doesn't go anywhere.
The basic premise, and a caveat to good friends, is to stay away from "fixing up" prospective marriage partners, as things in life are a bit more complicated than a good ending in a book, a play, a movie, or human relations.
Karen and Gabe are happily married. They conjure to arrange a meeting with Beth, a painter, and Tom, a lawyer. Basically, the idea of having mutual friends meet one another, might not be bad, but in reality things should be let alone and let nature takes its course. The bright idea back fires on Karen, who, upon hearing at the beginning of the film that her best friend, Beth, is divorcing Tom, is visibly upset. She feels betrayed by these two people she was instrumental in bringing together.
It's hard for both, Gabe and Karen, to think where they went wrong in their match making roles. They never take into consideration that Beth is totally wrong for Tom, and vice versa. The problem is that this couple don't think that Beth and Tom have found new partners in what appears to be a much solid relationships than what they had together. Karen and Gabe are crushed, but in reality, not everything is perfect in their own marriage. We get hints that yes, they are not completely happy, but they have decided to stay in the marriage out of decency and out of duty to their two boys, which is what Beth and Tom have failed to do. Call them old fashioned, but one has to give Karen and Gabe a lot of credit for at least trying to stay together as a family.
Andie MacDowell is Karen; she is a beautiful woman. In the movie, Ms. MacDowell appears a bit distant. She loved to bring people together and resents their friends separation. Ms. MacDowell's Karen comes across as a hard and judgmental person. Dennis Quaid tries hard to give Gabe warmth. Perhaps he comes across as the best of the four principals. Toni Collette's Beth is an enigma until her confrontation with Karen at the restaurant, then, we see a woman that is not shy in telling her best friend off as she embarks in a new relationship. Greg Kinnear is Tom. He is perhaps the weakest link in the quartet, as he is perhaps, not treated fairly by Karen, or Gabe.
The movie remains a bit theatrical, but Norman Jewison has done wonders with the material.