Godzilla vs. Kong First, this is really a terrible movie. Two Hundred Million for this trash? Are you kidding me? This explains why WB is having such a hard time creating a stable DC universe. Green lighting silly ideas like this. There's a vehicle in this nonsense called a HEAV, and that's what I wanted to do watching this. At 87 minutes, it feels much longer. The only positive thing I can say is that the effects were excellent. But even there I saw problems. So, let's break it down shall we?

The Director, Adam Wingard. If you add up everything he's directed it doesn't come to much. All his films prior to this might equal the catering bill for this movie. Why pick this guy? No one else wanted to be saddled with this lame script? Still, a paycheck is a paycheck no?

Godzilla. Who designed the US Godzilla with this HUGE body and tiny head and no neck? Did anyone even bother to look at the various Toho designs?

Kong. A nice design but a lot of plot holes in his story. So, his race comes from the center of the earth where they built things like thrones and statues and a Thor like ax. OK, so why are they extinct if they were intelligent? And why did they come to the surface of the earth?

The HEAV (no one saw the bad jokes that would grow from this abbreviation?) If the humans needed a special vehicle to get to the Hollow Earth, why didn't they get squished the minute they got out of those vehicles?

Kids... one of the things I really couldn't stand about some of the 70's Godzilla's were the kids. They served no purpose and slowed the plot. Well let's add in conspiracy man, who the kids find in like two seconds and help undermine Apex. So, some pinhead who is a conspiracy theorist gets into Apex (no background checks?) and then the kids get in with him? No security either eh? The kid with the English accent was one of the most annoying characters ever in any monster movie.

The deaf girl. First, how does Kong even notice her? She's tiny. How did he learn her sign language? Why would he? He's a giant Gorilla. And yes, I know that gorillas have learned sign language. Koko was famous for it. But why would he?

MechaGodzilla. Terrible design. Looks like a giant erector set. And it basically kicks the crap out of both monsters (I knew they weren't going to remain enemies),until Odin, I mean Godzilla charges Kong's ancient stone age axe.

Let's see what they ripped off from better Toho Godzilla movies: MechaGodzilla. One of the Godzilla's greatest enemies. Originally in the 70's designed by a maniac scientist at the urging of aliens. Later, in the 90's created by the Godzilla defense force.

Human with esper abilities. Miki Saegusa, an esper, shows up through many of the 90's Godzilla's starting with Godzilla vs Biollante. Fortunately, she doesn't get killed.

Kong getting charged by his axe, is a direct wink at the original King Kong vs Godzilla from 1963, when Kong gets charged by electricity.

So, what went wrong with this movie? How about everything. The story is lame. The human characters might as well not even be there. No background as to why or how they built that dome Kong was living in. It's a little sad at the end knowing Kong is the last of his species, but I can honestly say I hope this is the end of the monsterverse.

The least of the new GODZILLA series. This one has an interminable storyline with half-hearted plotting, throwing bits and pieces from the Japanese films into a blender and trying to make sense of the garbage that comes out. The human cast is particularly dull and cookie-cutter predictable, from a random cute native girl to the stereotypical comedy relief and one-dimensional villains. I wasn't impressed with the CGI or the way Kong is humanised with incessant pop music, and it's only in the final third that this finally starts to look and feel like a real kaiju movie; the climax isn't bad, but it's a long time coming.

Kong is being kept under-the-dome living on Skull Island and he's not happy about it. Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall) is trying to keep him safe and away from Godzilla. Her adopted deaf daughter Jia communicates with him. Meanwhile, conspiracy blogger Bernie Hayes (Brian Tyree Henry) is investigating and working at Apex Cybernetics. Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown) is a fan and she tracks him down with Josh. Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgård) is a Hollow Earth expert. Oh yeah! There is the Hollow Earth, a magical axe, and a surprise villain.

Honestly, I don't remember the previous movies. I don't know any of these characters. Non of them really matters anyways. I do like the idea of the little girl communicating with Kong. The movie should do more of that. BTH is a little fun as the conspiracy nut. His little Scooby gang has potential but it's not that great. The Hollow Earth is rather silly but whatever. It's stupid but kinda cool at the same time. The TRON ships are out of place. It's a tech mishmash. I don't really need a lot of the human story especially if it's not doing anything interesting. At the end of the day, this is a mindless popcorn flix and it's fine for being that.