Author Mickey Spillane's hard-boiled crime novels might have seriously benefited from the new permissiveness of '70s and '80s Hollywood...but it turns out the filmmakers here weren't interested in doing anything creative with all the old clichés, and so we have Spillane's detective Mike Hammer making love to a sex therapist with saxophones blaring in the background. Hammer, whose New York office is across the street from the Pussycat Theatre (!),assigns himself to the murder case of his one-armed war buddy, with a dirty police chief, the C.I.A., and a sex clinic at the heart of the mystery. As Hammer, American-born Armand Assante is completely miscast. With his slurry, Euro-trash accent and indifferent expression, Assante saunters through like a male gigolo; rumpled panache doesn't come easily to him--and neither does leering. Assante isn't the mischievous or lascivious sort, and so when naked sex clinic bunnies pounce on him, his shooing them away seems more awkward and unrealistic than how the old-school private eyes used to handle the broads (either by getting rough or by taking care of their business off-screen). Director Richard T. Heffron does paltry work; he can't even stack the deck against Hammer convincingly, turning an interrogation/torture sequence into an episode out of "The Perils of Pauline". Barbara Carrera (as the operator of the sex clinic) is used only for her slim, exotic body and, though she's a stunning nude, it's an insult to any professional actor to be cast on the merits of their genitalia. Assante wouldn't know--he takes off his shirt but nothing more. * from ****

At the end of the novel, Mike Hammer's tough-as-nails private investigator enfolds a beautiful woman in his arms. They kiss. He shoots her in the belly. She backs away, astonished, and before she collapses she asks, "How could you?" "It was easy," replies Mike. These were the single most celebrated lines in pulp literature in 1953.

The plot is torturous. Mike's old friend is murdered and this provides Mike with the revenge motive that propels him through the rest of the story, which has some sort of sex institute operating as a brainwashing tool of the CIA for the purpose of creating sex fiends who murder the agency's enemies and make it look like the work of a sex fiend which, in a way, it is. I told you it was complicated.

But it deserves a few observations. One is that Barbara Carerra, an aristocratic looking ex-model and ex Miss South American Continent, looks perfectly beautiful, especially when completely and unashamedly nude. Shooting her was a mortal sin and Mike Hammer's soul should roast in hell. It doesn't matter that she was a treacherous, murdering, domineering nymphomaniac. Some men might enjoy just those properties in a woman. De gustibus non disputandum est.

Another is that Mike Hammer, incarnated here by Armand Assante, is the luckiest man alive. Everybody who shoots at him misses. And, man, do they shoot at him -- with M-16s and Uzis and other weapons. They try to electrocute him. They blow him up with mines. Yet he always escapes. And when he has an opportunity to shoot BACK you can bet HE never misses.

The police can't be trusted. Only Mike's secretary, Velda, she of the long and lustrous blond tresses can be trusted. She's played by Laurene Landon, who is a paragon of beauty but who can't act, not that it matters.

Many of the action scenes, and they are here in abundance, are in the slow motion that was fashionable at the time. They entered their decadent period years ago. I blame Sam Pekinpah for their persistence.

Armand Assante is the best performer in the film, even if the film itself is tripe. Second Best award goes to Judson Earney Scott, a magnetic actor, as the sex-driven, twisted madman. You can't take your eyes off the guy. He resembles Peter Greene, another very convincing villain.

Private Detective Mike Hammer (Armand Assante) investigates the murder of his friend Jack Williams who lost his arm to the Tet Offensive. Pat Chambers (Paul Sorvino) is the lead police detective in the case. Jack's wife Myrna reveals that they had been going to sex therapist Dr. Charlotte Bennett. His investigation connects Mike to a secret military program with help from his beautiful secretary Velda. Soon, they're hunted by mysterious agents. Mike follows the gun to mobster Charles Kalecki (Alan King).

Finding the bug seems very random. There are conveniences and contrivances. It's fine for an 80's action movie. It has the harden charisma of Assante although there is a bit of European coolness about him. It gives Hammer a nice sexiness. The plot is quite convoluted which borders on a Bond movie. Instead of a noir pulp detective, Bond does seem like the bigger inspiration. It's not until he gets a little bloodied that it starts to feel noir. There is even a bevy of Bond beauties. The only thing missing is the exotic locations. It's strictly New York City and that's perfectly good with its remaining sleaze. It fits the sex and violence. The production is closer to TV level except for the R-rated elements.