A dangerous lunatic escapes from a hospital, killing a doctor and a salesman in the process. Worried about a potential scandal, the hospital hires private investigator Richard Vargas (Don Scribner, who looks like Christian Bale) to find the missing patient. The investigation leads to a yacht where the only passenger, a catatonic woman (Britt Ekland),stabs Vargas in the stomach.

A few days later, the woman, Linda -- now in hospital and a little more lucid -- explains to Dr. Khorda (Robert Quarry) the events leading up the disappearance of her fellow passengers: her newlywed husband Allen (John Phillip Law),his wartime buddies Burt (William Smith) and Mark (Louis Van Bergen),and their girlfriends Claire (Jillian Kesner) and Isabel (April Wayne).

When a film clearly isn't working, at what point do you call it a day, cut your losses, and shelve the whole thing? In the case of Moon In Scorpio, not soon enough. Not happy with their movie, the producers tried to salvage something from director Gray Gravers original cut by re-editing it, turning it from what was apparently originally intended to be a supernatural horror into a cheesy slasher. It didn't help: the film is still incredibly bad.

The direction is about what you might expect from a porn film-maker like Graver, but one would hope for more than porn-level acting from the cast: sadly, the usually reliable Smith is seriously off-form, and both Law and Ekland prove that it was looks and not talent that got them noticed in the first place. Kesner and Wayne were obviously hired for their bodies and a willingness to flash their boobs when asked.

Whoever re-edited this garbage had an unenviable task, but failed to rise to the occasion, the final film an incoherent mess that should have been consigned to the trash. Ekland provides a voiceover to try and help explain matters, but it doesn't help any: half the time, the actress is merely describing exactly what is happening on screen ("Alan tried to strangle me"... WE KNOW!).

Perhaps if the killings had been more creative and gorier, the film might have been bearable, but the deaths are unimaginative, repetitive, and not all that splattery (I've had bloodier paper cuts than some of them). The killer's spiky glove weapon with retractable barbs is certainly unique, but isn't put to good use.

1.5/10, rounded up to 2 for the gratuitous bare breasts, and the wholly unconvincing Vietnam war scenes -- dense jungle has never looked so much like the local park.

Sometimes, Gary Graver was making movies with Orson Welles. Other times, he was making ultra low budget films that were originally about soldiers burning down a temple to a snake goddess and being hunted years later by a Vietnamese child all grown up. Instead, the producers wanted a slasher set on a yacht. And that's kind of what we got.

But man, what a cast! John Phillip Law? William Smith? Britt Ekland? Robert Quarry? Jillian Kesner from Firecracker and Raw Force? Any one of these actors will get me to watch a movie. All of them at the same time? Come on!

Shout out to Justin Decloux, who revealed on Letterboxd that the budget for this came from Fred Olen Ray bringing Commando Squad in under budget and Graver saying that he could make another movie with what was left. After Grave shot the film and made his cut, the producers hated it and asked Ray to reshoot it for $5,000, adding in the crazy weapon and bloodier kills. That same camera equipment for the extra scenes got co-opted to make Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and the movie ended - and that one - ended up being a big success.

Hey look - Britt Ekland starts this movie off in a straightjacket and it gets goofier from there. I can absolutely respect that. I also love that some actors in this are really trying to act (underline and bold that and make it very large in font size) while others are just trying to make a slasher.

That's me - I'd rather a movie be a mess with a troubled production history than good sometimes.

This is what I get for being stubborn and bumptious. Every single review I read was negative and clearly warning the rest of world not to waste any time or energy on this lousy horror flick. And yet, what do I do? I refuse to listen to these reviews (despite often coming from knowledgeable fellow users whose opinions I always trust) because I cannot believe that a film with: a) such an awesome cover image, b) mysterious sounding title and c) terrific cast is really that bad.

Rest assured; - it is that bad! The cover image is definitely awesome, but horror fanatics know (or should know...) better than to fall for that. The title never gets explained even though several characters literally ask what it means. And the cast, well, I'm really fond of the work of Britt Ekland ("The Wicker Man") and John Philip Law ("Danger: Diabolik") but both their performances are poor. The respectable names in the supportive cast, like William Smith and Robert Quarry, don't contribute any quality, neither.

"Moon in Scorpio" is what happens when the producers and the makers have completely opposite ideas. The producers wanted a straightforward slasher movie with an escaped asylum patient and set on a yacht, but director Gary Graver claimed he wanted a spiritual and mysterious horror film. I personally don't believe Graver, because he was also the director of adult movies with titles like "Driving Miss Daisy Crazy Again" and "Three Men and a Hooker". I wish the producers had hired a different crew instead, because the murders are still rather cool and bloody, and a yacht in the open sea is always a good setting for a horror film.

The film is downright pathetic, really. The Vietnam flashbacks look as if they were filmed in someone's backyard, Ekland's additional voiceover is pointless and irritant, the editing is utmost amateurish, and the plotting is often absurd. Newlyweds going on honeymoon together with his former army buddies? Such a marriage wouldn't last a week even if they didn't get killed.