More of a plot less cut-and-paste pastiche of all the action clichés popular in the last half century than a real movie, this drivelling and dumb addition to the popular '80s B-movie war sub-genre is a real letdown from start to finish but not without incidental amusement. Lensed in the Philippines, where supporting cast members and shooting locations are cheap, the film features an unlikely central pairing of characters. The first is Steve, a steroid-pumped meathead who likes to wield an unfeasibly large gatling gun and who covers himself in baby oil and army gear before going into action. Steve is payed by Brent Huff who plumbs the depths of woodenness in a way few unknown actors are capable of doing; his sexist and idiotic hero is just one of many popular from the period where casting male leads with big muscles but no acting skill was a popular process. Sure, there were a few successes – the Stallones and Schwarzeneggers of the period – but these household names are exceptions to the rule and for the most part, any untalented bodybuilder could become a cheap war hero or fighter.

The second lead is more interesting, mainly because he is played by the one and only Sho Kosugi. For those who don't know, Kosugi was a middle-aged action hero of the '80s who first came to success playing the villain opposite Franco Nero in 1981's ENTER THE NINJA. Proving more of a success than the moustachioed Italian star, Kosugi swapped sides and went on to play the hero for a decade, usually starring in films involving ninjas. In the rare instance in which his films didn't involve ninjas (1988's BLACK EAGLE for example) you could at least guarantee that a level of martial arts would be involved in the movie anyway. Here, he's a ninja who somehow also happens to work for an elite US agency responsible for combating terrorism both home and abroad. People who look out for nepotism in movies will note that Kosugi casts both of his kids in fairly substantial roles – a trend he would follow as his career progressed.

Although the heroes don't provide much excitement, at least their characters are mildly realistic and subdued when compared to the trio of villains that the film offers. First up is a turbanned Arab who just laughs manically throughout and sweats a lot – trust me, this soon becomes irritating. Next up is an afroed black female mercenary whose over-the-top acting style is a real annoyance, and finally there's a crippled (?) German scientist ringleader, played by a guy who's overacting knows no bounds. Gosh, this guy is terrible, and whether dubbed or not his comedic, racist accent is utterly abhorrent and moronic. I had to make an effort not to mute the movie when he was on screen, he's that bad. The female characters are of the blonde bimbo variety popular on our screens during the misogynistic decade.

The film shambles badly from one scene of action to the next, taking in a variety of locations. The best I can say about this film is that at least it isn't a homegrown Filipino movie – now they usually are bad, confined to a single location and looking cheap every second. At least this film looks slightly polished. But it doesn't help a lot. Everything is clichéd and even fights on board helicopters don't really help to fuel the minimal excitement levels. Instead, it just looks like the film-makers have copied some scenes from the likes of James Bond and Rambo in a bid to win homegrown appeal. Combined with a title which has no relation to the film in hand (the ninja action is inconsequential to the plot and takes up about ten minutes of filler time) and some poor fight choreography, the result is a mess of a movie with only a handful of passable moments.

A band of nefarious terrorists lead by crippled ruthless drug kingpin Alby the Cruel (the stunningly dreadful Blackie Dammett, who does a third-rate Dr. Strangelove impression throughout the entire movie) kidnap a bus full of tourists who include a U.S. congressman. Alby demands the release of a dangerous criminal cohort and that all the drug enforcement agents in the Phillippines leave the country. The American government send in the courageous DART team -- lollipop-sucking ace martial artist Spike Shinobi (stolid Sho Kosugi),macho meathead Steve Gordon (the extremely obnoxious Brent Huff) and hot blonde babe Jennifer Barnes (the gorgeous Emilia Lesniak) -- to save the day. Emmett Alston, the same low-budget movie blunder wonder who blessed us with the shoddy seasonal slasher stinker "New Year's Evil" and the amusingly inane Bigfoot sci-fi/horror bomb "Demonwarp," writes and directs this amazingly abominable chopsocky action opus with a staggering ineptitude that's a true gloriously ghastly marvel to behold. Ray H. Wagner's crude cinematography, Cecile Colayco's cheesy score, the ridiculous villains (an especially wicked lesbian is named Honey Hump!),and the incredibly awful acting are all uniformly pathetic. A simply stupendous pseudo-James Bond style opening credits sequence with a bare-chested sword-brandishing Kosugi, lots of swirling mist, and three terrible lady dancers clad in leotards rates as a definite campy highlight. The maladroitly staged action scenes are often unintentionally uproarious: Kosugi beats up a bunch of guys while disguised as an old man and even fights four dwarfs sporting sunglasses and really bad teeth. A total four-star sidesplitting schlock howler.

Thee people form an anti-terrorist group. They must fight in the Philippines to save a tour bus full of hostages. The bad guys are lead by Dr. Strangelove and Angela Davis or their doubles. Her name is Honey Hump.

The acting was terrible. The plot inane. What was with the midget fighters? My mouth was agape during the opening ballet credits. Futuristic, as this was made with MST-3000 in mind. A "so bad it is good" film.

No swearing, sex, or nudity in the multi-pack version I watched.