Wow. As of today this movie has 246 ratings and 9 reviews. Not a single one of the numerous youtube reviewers posted a review. Why was this on my watchlist??? I blame streaming services and their endless barrage of trash movies. It makes it so difficult to differentiate movies worth watching.

This movie is complete trash and fails at everything. It starts out trash, then gets a tiny bit interesting before becoming unfathomably stupid. The only positive I can think of is the musical score, but it does not at all fit the movie. Overall it's a complete waste of time unless you're a high school girl or a bored housewife who has never seen a movie. (1 viewing, 5/28/2022)

SPOILERS

So they try to make the villains psychologically disturbed in a dark and interesting way. They completely fail. If it was explored and developed properly, it could have been interesting. Especially with Oates and his blind loyalty to this person who verbally abuses him and treats him like garbage. The scene where she tries to save Oates in the pool is hilarious. Even after Duke stabs Oates and leaves him to die, Oates yells "she's here!" It could have been a great moment if the characters were developed.

Let's talk about the "protagonist." In the opening scene, she narrates that she cheats... because "I don't care." That's a pretty bad start when it comes to the audience liking and caring about the main character. Later, she decides to grill burgers for the gardener and their new neighbor who she hasn't met yet. Odd, but okay.

During this barbeque with her gardener and new neighbor, she starts dancing with the gardener in front of her brand new neighbor. Who she just met. Maybe this is innocent in LA? Sure. Then she starts making out with him. In front of her brand new neighbor. Who she just met. Who will be living next to her and her husband for the foreseeable future.

I'm not sure if I should interpret this as her being the dumbest character ever, or if cheating is so normal for her that she doesn't even try to hide it. Either way, she's a horrible character.

Gameshow host voice: But that's not all! After the neighbor leaves, even though she says no to sex, she decides to still get wasted with him while dancing slow and sensual. Is this the movie's attempt to redeem the character??? Even before getting wasted with him, this notion would have been laughable.

So she gets so wasted that the gardener is able to carry her to the neighbor's house, put her in a bed and tell the neighbor, aka Oates, to have his way with her. Are they really trying to redeem a character by making her a victim of sexual assault? That's a pretty messed up thing to do, movie.

When her husband comes home and fights Duke, she grabs a gun and shoots him once. The husband is safe and Duke is down. But she walks up to him and shoots him a couple more times. Again, I'm trying to figure out what the movie is going for with the character. Is this supposed to be a powerful moment of her taking control, even though you shouldn't shoot someone who's incapacitated and poses no threat? Or is she cold-bloodedly trying to keep her secret safe? Again, either way, terrible character.

Husband: Are you alright?

Wife: I wasn't, but I am now.

Wow. First of all, on-the-nose much? Second, are you really, seriously, in all honesty, trying to imply that she went through some kind of journey and grew as a character? Everything she does in this movie is awful. Every decision she makes is horrendous.

Think about this... if he was a regular gardener, we know how it would have turned out (extended affair, likely divorce). The only reason she is now "alright" and back to loving her husband is because the gardener is a crazy criminal. Dumb luck is not a good reason for character redemption or the completion of an arc.

Writer and director Chadd Harbold sure butchered the 1960's classic film of the same name, by giving it a Lifetime/Hallmark feel. The usually very comfortable low 87 min runtime felt way longer with ridiculously slow pacing, and Harbold's screenplay being 80% filler and maybe 20% substance. It's a shame, because there was tons of potential that was missed, and in the hands of filmmakers that know what they're doing, this could've been great. Even if this was edited/cut down to a 20-30 min short film, I probably would've enjoyed it more. The ending was part cringe, part nonsense, and part ok, but all the previous filler was just boring and underwhelming. Even some of the fade-ins and outs in the thrill scenes towards the end were 1980's quality.

The cinematography was decent, although the darker scenes were way too dark. The score was your typical loud, unfitting and annoying B-grade fare, and in some of the quieter dialogue scenes, I couldn't make out any words because of the overbearing score, and that's something that could've been fixed in editing, if there actually was any.

Casting and performances were decent, and I can tell they tried their best considering there probably wasn't any cast direction from Harbold. Shiloh Fernandez whispering dialogue got annoying quickly, and incoherent when the score was overbearing his scenes. I'd pass on this, especially if you've seen the original, because comparing it to this one will be even more disappointing. A very generous 5/10 most towards the cast.

None have captured the spirit of how bad a film can be like this one. I literally couldn't NOt Watch because I am shocked this was made. 0/10 would never recommend not even to my worst enemy. Guantanomo Bay banned this movie because it was too evil to put on repeat.