OK, I know I'm going to either get a lot of hate for this and a lot of confused emails, but Red Sonja to me is an ultimate guilty pleasure. My sister and I used to watch this movie all the time when we were kids, we both wanted to so badly fight with Red Sonja and be apart of the group. So oddly, after years of not watching this since I was a kid, my sister and I found the DVD for 5 dollars and decided to watch it. Oh, the things that are so wrong with this film that makes it so right again. Looking to be a spin off of Conan, we were introduced to Red Sonja played by Flava-Flav's ultimate true love, Bridgitte Nielson. The 6 foot tall drink of glass shows us that this was her acting class as she rehearses her lines as if she had just read them the night before and screams "Gedren, where are you?!" while moving her mouth in the strangest way. She teams up with world's other tall drink of … beef(?) Arnold Schwarzenegger as they battle it out on who can act the worst? Well, who knows who will win with this silly story.

A large temple full of white-robed priestesses are getting ready to destroy a large, glowing green orb called the Talisman. This dangerous artifact's destructive power increases from exposure to light and the priestesses intend to destroy it before it gets out of control. However, the evil Queen Gedren and Ikol attack with their army. The warrior-priestesses resist, but are ultimately subdued by Gedren's forces. Gedren gets her hands on the Talisman, but not before proving the myth that only women can touch it and survive. Gedren orders the remaining priestesses to be imprisoned in the vault which held the Talisman. One of those priestesses, Varna, manages to escape. She doesn't get far before she's mortally wounded by an arrow in the back. As luck would have it, she literally falls into the arms of the mighty Lord Kalidor. She begs him to help find her sister, Red Sonja. Sonja has been training with a Chinese sword master when Kalidor informs Sonja about her sister. Sonja arrives just in time for Varna to tell her about what happened at the temple. Before dying, Sonja's sister urges her to find the Talisman and destroy it, or else the world will be destroyed.

Everything about this movie is bad, but that's what I love about it. You know how sometimes you just need a bad movie that you can make fun of and have a good time with? Supposedly, Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes that he uses this movie as punishment for his kids when they act up. Is it that bad? It is bad, but it's a ton of fun. I loved the action, Arnold fighting Bridgitte for her love as no man may have her unless he's trying to kill her, lol. I loved the last fight scene between Red Sonja and Queen Gedren, Gedren loves pulling a ton of jump cuts on her as well as one of Gedren's wizards who is using vodoo to cut Sonja to weaken her, then when she discovers the wizard, instead of him cutting her again, he just stands there, lol. Also the little Prince Tarn with Falkon was classic and they worked so well together. I think the scene that made me laugh the most was when Red Sonja, Prince Tarn and Falkon are stuck in the cave with the machine dragon and Arnold is just riding around with it making it look more like a roller coaster ride rather than a fight for his life, lol! My opinion, if a movie entertains you even if it is bad, why fight it? This is a good bad movie and I know I will always enjoy it. My recommendation being if you have an open mind and decide to just let go and enjoy the ride Red Sonja takes you on, take it or leave it.

7/10

Fierce'n'feisty redhead warrior woman Red Sonja (ineptly played with endearingly awkward woodenness by the gorgeous Brgitte Nielson) vows revenge on the evil Queen Gedren (ripely overplayed with deliciously campy'n'zampy panache by the stunning Sandahl Bergman, who looks absolutely smashing in a form-fitting black spandex outfit),who slaughtered Sonja's people and has stolen a powerful magical orb that could possibly destroy the world. Gallant master swordsman Kalidor (essayed with charming stiffness by Arnold Schwarzenegger) helps Sonja out. Director Richard Fleischer, working from a sublimely silly script by Clive Exton and George McDonald, treats the blithely inane story with gloriously ludicrous seriousness, thereby giving this jaw-dropping tosh a certain lovably asinine appeal that's impossible to either resist or dislike. Moreover, the plentiful sword fights are staged with rip-roaring skill and gusto, with the ferocious final confrontation between Sonja and Gedren rating as a definite exciting highlight. The cast has a field day with the cheerfully absurd material: Ernie Reyes Jr. as bratty and arrogant little boy Prince Tarn, Paul Smith as Tarn's loyal bodyguard Falkon, Ronald Lacey as Gedren's slimy and sniveling henchman Ikol, and Pat Roach as disgusting fat pig Brytag. Familiar Italian exploitation cinema siren Janet Agren has a small part as Sonja's ill-fated sister Varna. The flashy special effects, lush scenery, Giuseppe Rotunno's sumptuous cinematography, the lavish sets and costumes, and especially Ennio Morricone's robust and majestic full-bore orchestral score give this endearing twaddle an impressive sense of scope. A total high camp howler.

You know that this film is in SERIOUS trouble when the BEST acting job is the support role played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. While this was still relatively early in his career and he wasn't the best actor, compared to Brigitte Nielsen, he's Sir John Gielgud. In fact, this film proves that the only reason she got much of any attention were her boobs and because she was involved with the incredibly self-destructive football player, Mark Gastineau. So, instead of this being her "break out film", this and a Beverly Hills Cop movie mark about as high as she went in her one-note career. It was obvious, too, that the financing wizards gave up on this movie as well, because the supporting cast (aside from Arnold) is pretty lame and the script is dull, dull, dull. Fans looking for another CONAN movie would no doubt be very disappointed in this slow and uninvolving film.