Okay, so it's no Academy Award winner. The writing is poor, some of the movie is just plain silly, but there is a lot to enjoy.

I love the chemistry between the Brooke & Lambert Wilson... the seductive and emotional nature of their scenes together. Lambert Wilson takes my breath away! He did in 1983 when I first saw the film (okay, I'll admit -- a few times). I just finally found a copy recently and watched it again for the first time in 23 years or so, and he STILL takes my breath away! Brooke is beautiful and he is terribly handsome -- his face, his eyes, his voice -- he looks at her as if he's going to drink her. It's incredible. Mesmerizing. In my book, this is one of the sexiest movies ever (and without actually having any sex in it).

I looked up Lambert Wilson on IMDb and realized I didn't recognize him 20 years later in "Matrix Reloaded" or the newer "Sahara" (but it had been a long time -- the french accent and clean-shaven face threw me off). It looks like he's been working steadily in France all along, thank goodness. I'm thrilled to know he's been a success. I hope he'll do more American films. Oh, and the score was haunting. It added a lot to the film.

And one more thing: Brooke was practically a child when she did this film. I thought her acting was fine, especially considering her age and the poor script with which she had to work.

What gets this movie made?

Could it be that British Prime Minister's son Mark Thatcher got lost in North Africa during an auto rally? Maybe the idea that Brooke Shields could be the next Indiana Jones? Or did Menahem Golan love The Sheik so much that he's pay for this and Bolero?

That meany bringing in Brooke's manager mother Teri, who would say, "I don't want anyone looking at her like a woman yet. It's not time." She also asked for eight rewrites and two directors - John Guillermin was one - quit before the cameras rolled.

As for Menahem, he said, "Brooke is the most beautiful creature on earth She is the genie of the desert and Lambert (Wilson, who plays her love interest) is a wildman, but educated. He wants to rape her, but he controls himself. We are not afraid here of clichés. I want a beautiful romantic blockbuster where all American kids will identify."

Yes, American kids identify with sexual assault.

With costumes by Valentino and no expense spared, this didn't really it the screens. It just kind of made its way two months late - and only west of the Mississippi - after poor previews.

Gordon (Steve Forrest, Mommie Dearest) has created a new racing vehicle for the Trans-African Auto Race but dies before he can enter. His daughter Dale (Shields) disguises herself as a man - I mean, as much as she can - and enters the race as her father with the help of his friends.

So yes, to get Brooke Shields in a Cannon movie, one that she'd dress like a man and not be the sexy Brooke audiences wanted for the entire movie, cost Cannon $1.5 million just to get her in the film. Her mom got $250,000 to be an executive producer.

Menahem had written the original script and wanted to direct it, but Teri claimed that it had "too many rape scenes and too much gore." As it was, Menahem kept overruling director Andrew McLaglen and tried to direct the movie. This led to an accident where Golan pushed Brooke to drive a convertible faster and faster. The car flipped, launching him, her and a cameraman from the vehicle. No one was seriously hurt, but that's an example of how nuts this movie was to make.

But hey - it has a score by Morricone!

OK. To be completely fair here, I can't put the total blame for "Sahara" being an utter failure on the exquisite shoulders of the beautifully radiant Brooke Shields. I'd sure like to, but, alas, I cannot.

I mean, even though darling Brooke may very well be about the worst actress alive on the entire face of this whole planet, there's certainly a whole lot more to "Sahara's" dang-blasted problem than just Brooke's inability to act (the poor, untalented dear).

'Cause, believe me - "Sahara" really is a tacky film, all round.

And, just remember - While watching "Sahara" that any resemblance this film may have to actually being good movie-entertainment is purely a hallucination.