I had the opportunity of sitting down today, in 2021, and watch the 1989 horror movie "The Cellar". I remember having seen it back in my teenage years, after having sat through it again today. But it was a movie that I had fully and wholeheartedly forgotten all about. So as I stumbled upon the movie in 2021, of course I took the time to sit down and watch it.

It should be said that "The Cellar" is definitely everything you'd expect from a late 1980s horror movie, for better or worse. I grew up watching a heap of horror movies in the 1980s, so this was definitely right up my alley. And I must admit that I actually enjoyed "The Cellar" from writers John Woodward and Darryl Wimberley.

The storyline told in this movie, as directed by Kevin Tenney, is pretty straight forward. And it follows that very unique formula that was being used over and over back in the time when it was made. But I found it to be enjoyable and watchable. It was definitely a trip back in time for me to watch "The Cellar". Sure there were plot holes and aspects to the storyline that just made zero sense, but hey, it is a movie after all.

The acting in the movie was adequate. Nothing outstanding here actually. But don't get me wrong, because it wasn't as if people were doing poor jobs or anything. Not at all. But it was just fairly standard acting performances for a late 1980s horror movie of this caliber.

Now, I will say that the creature effects were actually quite good. And still were passable even today. So the visual effects, special effects, make-up and props departments really delivered in this movie.

"The Cellar" is a movie that is well-worth taking the time to sit down and watch. And should you be presented with the opportunity to do so, I would recommend that you do it.

My rating of "The Cellar" lands on a well-deserved six out of ten stars.

The Cellar opens with a load of mystical native American hogwash about evil Commanche spirits that wait to punish the white man. The ancient Indian curse is a lazy plot device that, once established, allows a film-maker to chuck a load of supernatural nonsense on screen with little need for logic or narrative cohesion: occasionally it works (Tobe Hooper's Poltergeist, which benefitted from a decent cast, a big budget, and Spielberg's guiding hand); mostly it doesn't, The Cellar being a prime example.

In Kevin Tenney's film, a savage creature conjured up by a powerful medicine man lurks in the cellar of an old house. The new owners, the Cashen family, are blissfully unaware of the monster that comes with their home, but youngster Willy (Chris Miller) realises the danger when he catches sight of it trying to come up through his bedroom floor. Willy's father Mance (Patrick Kilpatrick) doesn't believe his son's story, so it is up to Willy to try and kill the creature before it eats him, his dad, step-mom Emily (Suzanne Savoy),and baby sister April (Ryan and Anthony Childs).

The pacing of this film is awful: a very dull fifty minutes or so pass before we get a brief glimpse of the creature, when Willy manages to maim the thing in one of his bear traps. Now you might be asking yourself what a young lad is doing messing around with potentially lethal steel traps unsupervised, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Mance worries about whether his son really loves him: perhaps that's because he doesn't pay him enough attention, which is how the boy is able to make a home-made flame-thrower, give his baby sister a rabbit's foot necklace (a choking hazard if I ever saw one),rig up a high-voltage booby trap in the cellar, and steal sticks of dynamite and detonators to make some bombs -all without being noticed.

As if being totally oblivious to his child's numerous dangerous activities wasn't bad enough, Mance continues to not believe the kid about the monster, eventually losing his temper with the lad and locking him in the living room with the door to the cellar nailed open. Fortunately, Emily breaks open the door just in time to see the creature, at which point Mance realises his mistake and plays the hero. Someone give the guy a 'Father of the Year' award! The final battle with the creature is actually a lot of fun, even though the monster effects are a bit on the rubbery side, and the film ends with a nice big explosion, which is cool.

Actually, scratch that: the film ends with some more nonsensical mumbo jumbo about Native American wind spirits and other mystical guff, which isn't cool.

3.5/10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

"The Cellar" is an intolerably dull and overly child-friendly 80's cheese parade, directed by Kevin Tenney (creator of the much better films "Witchboard" and "Night of the Demons") and starring the incredibly untalented Patrick Kilpatrick, supposedly depicting a guy with feelings. The pacing is really slow, the plot feels far too familiar, the monster-effects are all but petrifying and the film opens and ends with tedious narrative ranting that somehow feels unrelated to the actual subject matter of the film. The voice-over keeps on nagging about wind and creatures riding on wind, but what the hell, there's no wind in the plot? Like so many 80's horror movies, "The Cellar" handles about cursed Indian landscapes and all-too-real mythical monsters hidden in basements and quagmires. Mance Cashen and his family move into a house build on what once was the home of Native Americans, but then white people came and turned the land into oil fields. Half of the script is wasted on explaining the origin of the monster, but I can easily summarize it for you: an ancient Indian witchdoctor summoned the creature (which looks like an over-sized paper-mâché rat) to annihilate the white people overflowing his land but he buried it again because, and I quote, the SOB kills Indians as well. Mance's hugely irritating son accidentally awakens the beast and naturally can't convince his parents about the big hungry rat in the cellar. The allegedly emotional family situation (daddy constantly wants his son to love him) is very pathetic and redundant and the film badly needed more bloodshed; kids' movie or not. The youthful hero (Chris Miller) is quite annoying, but we've definitely seen worse kid actors in the 80's. "The Cellar" is very much not recommended, unless of course you're a fan of cheesy and typically 80's monster designs. The big dodgy rat-thing is a real hoot to see.