A few days ago, I wrote that The Skydivers was one of the two or three worst movies I had ever seen. Well, I had completely forgotten about The Creeping Terror. This is the Grandaddy of Bad Movies. Forget what you've heard about films like Manos or Plan 9 - there not even in the same ballpark with this pile of llama dung. The ineptitude on display is mind boggling.

The story concerns an alien monster who has landed on Earth and begins feeding on the populace. The monster resembles an old, large carpet with five or six guys underneath. The monster has no arms, so he must get his mouth (I suppose it could be called a mouth) close to his prey in order to eat them. In one of the most ridiculous scenes ever filmed, the female victim can be seen actually climbing up into the creatures mouth. The monster moves slower than any other creature I've ever seen. The creature from The Blob is greased lightening compared with this monster. And the people in the movie seem willing to oblige the slow moving carpet. They look absolutely silly just sitting and waiting to be consumed.

One of my favorite scenes is the face-off between the Shag Monster and the Army (here, the Army consists of six guys in the back of a pickup truck). As the trained soldiers move in with their toy guns at the ready, they are careful to stay in a very tight pack. Just when they least suspect it, the monster charges (at the breakneck speed of 0.5 mph) and crushes the tightly packed soldiers. What drama!

The movie is not without lessons for those who pay attention. For some inexplicable reason, in the middle of the film we are treated to a 10 minute lecture on how life changes after marriage. The narration is straight out of one of those 1950s school films.

• As bad as this movie is, and it just may be the worst I've ever seen, this is actually my second viewing of The Creeping Terror. I'm a glutton for this kind of stuff.

Other than that you can laugh at how badly done everything is, there is nothing remotely decent let alone good about The Creeping Terror. It is a truly dire movie that while it is unintentionally fun to watch deserves everything bad that has been said about it. Visually, The Creeping Terror is one of the most inept movies there is, the stock footage is clumsily utilised and you question why they were there at all. The editing is some of the worst known to man, making everything slipshod and incoherent, even Space Mutiny's editing wasn't this bad and the editing in that movie is the very meaning of how not to edit a movie. The sets are dull and look like a first timer constructed them, making those in Ed Wood's movies seem award-worthy in comparison. And the creature looks terrible, even worse it has no menace and doesn't even have a personality. There are scenes where the music is the same tune repeated over and over, and sadly it is one of those tunes where it gets irritating very quickly. The dialogue, when there is any, is guaranteed to have you doubled up on the floor, and not because it is legitimately funny but because of how appalling it is, if there was a list of the 20 worst scripts The Creeping Terror would be on there and towards the top. The Creeping Terror makes the extra mistake at being really preachy at the end, which will leave a bad taste in the mouth. The story is equally disastrous, again like the dialogue when there is one it is incredibly contrived. Not to mention dull, so dull in fact it makes Manos seem exciting(and the problems with that were eerily similar to those in this movie). It is a very thin story with lots of filler and no creepy atmosphere or sense of terror whatsoever, if there were scenes that tried those it came across as contrived and predictable instead. The narration is irritating as well, sometimes it just intrudes over everything and other times in some scenes things are so incoherent they're crying out for explanation. The acting is beyond description and in a very bad way, their dialogue and the cardboard archetype excuses the movie has for characters do them no favours though but that doesn't excuse anything at all. All in all, amateurish and just dire, another classic case of the MST3K episode being infinitely better than the movie they're riffing(and they really hit the nail on the head here). 0.5/10, extra half-point only for the good laugh, despite the fact that that good laugh shouldn't have happened in the first place. Bethany Cox

Wow...this film gives all new meaning to the term "low-budget", as it sets a unique standard of cheapness and awfulness that few films can come close to equaling--and none can surpass it! It's so cheap and bad that in comparison, films like MONSTER A GO-GO, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE and ROBOT MONSTER actually look appreciably better! Now THAT's bad!!

So what are the myriad problems with the film? First, there is no real soundtrack to the film. It seems that the film maker lost it and replaced it with LOTS of narration and dubbed a few voices and sound effects here and there--but it's obvious that what the people were originally saying wasn't even close to what the dubbing said. Often, you see voice and the lips aren't moving or vice-versa! Second, they really didn't have a monster so they used scraps of material to make something that looked a bit like a giant moving cow pie! Third, the music is terrible and cheap--with organ music, a trumpet solo and other stuff that just seems out of place. Fourth, the film moves at a snail's pace (as does the monster). It easily could have had 20 minutes trimmed--or more. Fifth, the film is, from start to finish, stupid and amateurish--seeming like it had no script and the acting (if you can call it that) is strictly poor throughout. Heck, the acting and construction of most home movies from the time period is at least as good as THE CREEPING TERROR and surely it must rank in anyone's top 100 of the worst films of all time.

Now does my horrible appraisal of the film mean you should not watch it? Not necessarily. If you like to laugh at bad films, then this one is right up your alley! I especially love to laugh as the 'monster' moves at a slug-like pace and bellows--and yet people conveniently fall down and let it swallow them!! Apparently, it only eats stupid people and people hard of hearing--and this town's full of 'em!!

By the way, in the middle of the film, the narrator gives a lecture about bachelorhood and how people change for the better when they marry and settle down. Why? I have absolutely no idea--but it IS good for a laugh since it seems to bear no relationship to the plot!! And, in a similar vein, there is lots of dancing--scene after scene of teens dancing! And, most of the time, it was the same tune again and again and again! Apparently the music REALLY ticked off the monster, as you'd see it reeling back and forth and screaming--most likely the same reaction as those in the audience by this point!!!