This is one lowly film. It has no real plot. We never are made privy to motivations, other than wealth. The characters are some of the worst actors ever to be put on film. The threat seems to be supernatural, but then it's being controlled by these three older people. Why are they doing what they are doing; in order to strike fear into other members of the group? I don't know. There is some mist from a fog machine that rolls around in the halls and everyone seems to be scared of it. Does it do something? I don't know. There's some nudity for its own sake. I'm always surprised to see this in films this old. Things have actually settled down in this regard these days. Anyway, the people run around like chickens, ready for the ax. They have no plan; no resources; no nothing. There are about five silly climaxes in the film. Who are these people and "is" there a ghost or demon. What happened to the other people? I challenge anyone to tell me this with any confidence. What a mess.
Plot summary
Three bored millionaires gather nine people in an old mansion, and give them a proposition--if they can meet and conquer their biggest fears, they'll get one million dollars in cash.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
Director
Top cast
Movie Reviews
Darn! I Wish I'd Thought of "House on Moron Hill!"
The House on Moron Hill
For a good half hour or so, I remember myself thinking: "Hey, this could very well be Bill Rebane's best achievement ever!". The opening sequences are atmospheric, there immediately are some scary moments to enjoy and our director even refers to his own notorious stinker "The Giant Spider Invasion" in a playful way. The concept is shamelessly stolen from William Castle's "House on Haunted Hill", with three old and extremely bored millionaires luring nine losers to an isolated mansion to win $1,000,000 in an elimination game. Naturally, the participants start vanishing quickly and one by one, and it takes the remaining greedy boneheads too much time before they realize either the old folks are sadists...or there's another murderer amongst them. The film begins & ends with an odd narrator telling a lot of senseless stuff that isn't relevant or even interesting to the plot, but there's some nice T&A to admire in the first ten minutes and that dumb bimbo (Shelly, I believe she's called) is really hilarious to observe. After the first half hour, naturally the inevitable happens and "The Cold" turns into a textbook Rebane-production with retarded plot twists, the dumbest dialogs ever and a total lack of excitement. There wasn't any budget for bloody murder sequences but our multi-talented director (?) tries to compensate this with endless footage of disco dancing girls and an amateur rock band. The film also has four or even five different climaxes and none of them are a slight bit satisfying. Maybe it was an inspiration for LOTR: Return of the King? Avoid this film, you'll live longer and happier.
Very 80's and very strange!
Well this was certainly a weird little film. Very low budget, very bad actors, very 80's...very strange!
The plot is basically just a confusing rehash of House on Haunted Hill. 3 eccentric millionaires invite a group of people to stay at their mansion to face their greatest fears. The last one gets a million dollars. Pretty straight forward, but they still manage to make it a jumbled, confusing mess. At one point near the end, the narrator even admits he doesn't have a clue what's happening!
The actors are exactly what you'd expect to see in a low budget 80's horror flick, which is to say that they couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. They do have some amusing lines, including the best pick-up line ever "I had a vasectomy!".
Really though, this isn't an awful film considering. It's interesting to watch, because you really have no idea what's going to happen from one scene to the next. Really odd and poorly made film, but still entertaining in it's own way.
5.5/10