Fall Break - it seems this could have been another title the movie could have gotten. But whatever you may think of it - the title Mutilator is quite apt and really fitting.

The effects have quite aged well. They really work nice. The story is ... well not really note-worthy. Overall you won't find this more enticing than other slasher movie "stories". But if you focus on the effects as the movie does and begs you too ... you will be more than entertained.

A man goes psychotic as a result of an event that occurred a decade earlier, where his son accidentally killed his wife when cleaning a gun. The boy, now a teenager, is invited by his dad to take a break with his friends at his father's seashore house. Once there, the homicidal dad starts picking them off.

You would have to say that The Mutilator is a pretty run-of-the-mill mid-80's slasher film. Like most, it has almost no story and the narrative is merely a means of linking one gory murder after another. But it does seem to me like this is one of the slightly better examples of the genre from that time in that the carnage is quite varied and it doesn't really drag too much. It knows what it is and just sticks to genre conventions but does so with enough over-the-top violence to ensure it never gets boring. There are several memorable death scenes sprinkled throughout and overall it's passably good stupid fun.

Right off the bat, it's important to note that a film like this needs two ratings. If we're judging The Mutilator solely on its merits, then the 2 I've given it is actually quite generous, because this is about as thoroughly awful as films get. However, for those who love thoroughly awful cinema, The Mutilator earns a richly deserved 9, because this is truly a shining example of film so stupid and laughably inept that it ends up being amazing.

With that in mind, I'm not at all sorry that accidentally purchasing a Region 2 copy of this movie is what ultimately led me to buy an all-region DVD player.

To start identifying all of the nuances that make The Mutilator such a gloriously wretched mess, you need only to consider the premise, which centers on a group of college kids heading down to the beach for "Fall Break". You know, Fall Break... The break that happens at the same time that school starts. There's even a song about it during the opening credits, which immediately sets the tone for the mirthfully awesome journey to follow. Even before that, we're treated with a scene in which a man discovering his wife's dead body reacts as most sensible husbands would: by dragging her corpse into the next room and pouring Jack Daniels down her deceased throat. This happens about two minutes into the film, and it marks the precise instant that we know we're in for something truly special with The Mutilator.

Surely, anyone who has watched a slasher film understands that top-caliber acting ability isn't a prerequisite for being cast as an unwitting victim. However, The Mutilator features perhaps the most deliciously bad acting ensemble ever assembled. Even if there is another film I haven't seen that deserves this dicey honor, I can say with absolute certainly that Morey "Mike" Lampley is most assuredly the worst actor to appear in any movie EVER. Even a simple line like "what is this?" becomes comedic gold with Lampley's stunted delivery, and watching him pretend to have any sort of grasp on the complicated art of, well, talking, is a joy to behold. You can't help but like the little guy for trying, and each time he successfully completed a line, I found myself wanting to tell him "Good Boy" and throw him a cookie.

Most of the dialogue in the film is so pointless and banal that it seems to exist solely because writer/director Buddy Cooper figured that the rules of film-making dictated that characters are supposed to say stuff to each other. This is an actual exchange in the film:

Ed Jr.: "Do you see them?" Pam: "I saw something." Ed Jr.: "Miiike?" Ralph: "Do you see them?" Ed Jr.: "Pam saw something."

Most slasher films require the audience to suspend their disbelief and accept even the most absurd plot elements, but The Mutilator practically encourages the audience to find all the things wrong with it, and that actually becomes the funnest thing about viewing the film. For instance, consider the scene where Mike and Linda go swimming (in a pool conveniently located on the beach, naturally). While Mike frolics in the water a few yards away from Linda, our killer is able to disrobe, sneak into the pool, drown Linda, then climb the pool ladder with her corpse draped over his shoulder... All without Mike noticing anything is amiss.

I mentioned two rating systems, so it wouldn't be fair if I did this entire review without discussing the actual horror elements in the film. There's certainly no suspense to be had, since we're plainly introduced to the killer before he actually kills anyone. Unlike most films in the splatter canon, our psycho here doesn't wear a mask, isn't deformed or burned, and in fact doesn't have any sort of gruesome trait that makes him anything more than a creepy middle-aged man who sleeps with a battle-axe. (That's not outdated slang for "his wife", by the way... the killer is actually shown cuddling with a battle-axe).

The splatter effects are gory enough, but the execution isn't anything spectacular. However, the most notable kill in the film, in which one of our heroines unwillingly makes love to a very large fish hook, is a very nasty bit indeed. This gruesome scene almost seems out of place in the midst of such a funny film, but at least we can give Cooper credit for throwing something unexpected at us.

Of course, we can't ignore the "Special Appearance" by Ben Moore, who plays "Cop". As soon as I figure out who the hell Ben Moore is, I'll be able to better explain why this film was graced with his presence, and why this was worth noting so prominently in the opening credits. However, considering how silly The Mutilator is as it stands, I shudder to think of what this movie would have been without Ben there to class up the joint.

Nothing in The Mutilator elevates it out of the realm of "whoops, I accidentally made a comedy", but judged from that standpoint, the film is tremendously enjoyable and can easily be recommended to anyone who appreciates the absurdities inherent in that dubious sub-genre. Quite simply: If you love bad movies, you have found your Casablanca, my friend.