... You can't exactly shove her out of the way, because she's old; and if you were being charitable you might say that the ponderous gait she ambles along with isn't really her fault. Nevertheless, in these circumstances it's often difficult not to become irritated when you find yourself dragging your heels in her wake. So it is with "The Pallbearer", an attempt to do something 'different' with a romantic comedy that in this way is chiefly hamstrung because the venue is all wrong; sort of like showing off your 'breakdancing' skills at a grandparent's funeral.

To further extend the metaphor (perhaps unwisely!); like the old lady, one starts to feel with the set-up of the film that its demise cannot be far away. Sure enough, this particular 'death' is agonizingly protracted, slowly chipping away at our reserves of empathy in tiny little increments, as depressingly we come to the realisation that the proceedings are only headed in one direction: Downhill. Its laboured attempts at 'humour' can be seen coming a mile off - again, not unlike the grim inevitability of death!

Returning once again to the image of 'dragging heels', the main character, Tom, is shown to ceaselessly repeat this action throughout his life. If there are indeed degrees of 'pathetic', then this sap is possibly a good few notches ahead of Schwimmer's other - more famous - role. To find oneself in the awkward position of having to align audience sympathies with a character even MORE 'clueless' than Ross is certainly a tough ask even for as 'able' a comic performer as Schwimmer, but I guess he can find fault with himself for signing on to some seriously 'echoing' situations in the first place.

How will he ever escape his most famous portrayal if he's picking scripts where the characters could almost be 'interchangeable', even if the situations aren't? A man with a longstanding high-school crush on someone he hasn't seen for years. Sound familiar... ? Paltrow is nothing else if not bland in her 'Rachel' role, but all of this going over old ground would perhaps be forgivable if the noticeable DIFFERENCES present weren't so incongruous as well. Unfortunately, the romantic element is so well-worn it's threadbare, and the 'backdrop' is so inappropriate that it seems the best way to describe the resultant film is as something of a 'stiff'... ! 2/10.

It's been a year since Tom Thompson (David Schwimmer) graduated but he's still struggling to start his career in architecture. He lives with his mother (Carol Kane) in Brooklyn. Ruth Abernathy (Barbara Hershey) calls telling him about his high school best friend and her son Bill's suicide. She wants him to give the eulogy but he doesn't remember him. He agrees to a pallbearer anyways. His friends Brad Schorr (Michael Rapaport) and Scott (Michael Vartan) don't remember Bill either. Scott's engaged to Cynthia (Toni Collette). At their party, she invited Tom's secret high school crush Julie DeMarco (Gwyneth Paltrow). Lauren (Bitty Schram) is Brad's volatile girlfriend.

This movie hits on a false note from the start. Schwimmer's pathetic persona is not always appealing. This time, he's something off. He needs to get rid of his hang dog expression and stop doing his Friends sit-com comedy bit. He's sad and a little creepy. It's annoying. Any attempt at humor only backfires to highlight the awkwardness of this movie. There are multiple issues including sleeping with Ruth. It makes an unappealing character even worst. I actually wish that Tom had brain damage which would explain him forgetting about being Bill's best friend.

Tom Thompson, a nerdy Brooklyn man, is 25 when we meet him. He still lives at home with his overbearing mother, occupying the same room he lived when he was a teen ager. Tom's placid existence comes to an abrupt stop when he receives a phone call from a Mrs. Abernathy, who proceeds to tell him about the death of her son Bill, who supposedly had been a school mate of Tom's, but as much as he tries to remember the departed classmate, he can't seem to remember. She invites him to be a pallbearer at the funeral.

At the same time, Tom, who doesn't seem to have social graces at all, meets a young woman, Julie DeMarco, from his past. He always liked her, but being shy, never told her about the way he felt about her. All this happens at the time when Tom is trying to enlist his friends, Brad and Scott, to accompany him to the funeral. Little prepare Tom for the embarrassment he undergoes while delivering the eulogy. After all, he doesn't even remember the dead man! To make matters worse, Julie, who knew the late Bill Abernathy, is appalled at the spectacle she sees.

"The Pallbearer", based on David Lipsky's novel, which we never read, was adapted for the screen by Matt Reeves, who also directs, and Jason Katims. The film evokes other films, specially certain aspects of "The Graduate", or even the hit television series "Friends", in which the leading man, had a prominent role. After watching the movie, we are going to make the point of reading the book, because it appears this work didn't quite translate to the screen, as conceived by its creator.

What the film has going for itself is the interesting cast assembled for it. Never having been a fan of David Schwimmer, we have to admit he does a decent job because he is playing against type. Gwyneth Paltrow's take on Julie doesn't quite come across, but she always gives good readings in anything she appears. The surprise was Barbara Hershey, who as Mrs. Abernathy brings substance to a role that could have been a caricature with another, less experienced actress.

The excellent supporting role is about the best thing in the movie. Michael Rappaport, a versatile actor, gives a fine performance as Tom's best friend. The amazing Carol Kane is never seen too long, but has a couple of funny scenes as Tom's mother. Tony Collette, as a brunette doesn't get to do much; also in minor roles, Michael Vartan, Mark Margolies, Elizabeth Franz and the rest, contribute to the film.