As a point of reference, I don't rate every other movie I see a 1/10. Of the 1,005 movies I've bothered to rate over the past few years, I've only given 20 of them a 1/10. It takes a "special" movie can join the ranks of Prime Evil, The Creeping Terror, and Curse of the Swamp Creature. The Swarm is one of those "special" movies. Watching The Swarm is something of an endurance test. At one point, I felt like I had been sitting and watching for days. I checked the counter and discovered I had only seen 76 minutes - I still had another 80 minutes left to go.

So what went wrong? In a word - everything. As I've already indicated, The Swarm is dull and tedious. If I'm ever forced to watch this movie again, I can only hope it's the 116 minute version and not the 156 minute director's cut. In addition, the characters do and say the most unrealistic things. Take the movies supposed hero played by Michael Caine and the General played by Richard Widmark. Every conversation these two have is full of absolute nonsense and done in volumes usually reserved for football games. The fact that these two NEVER attempt to work together to accomplish anything is ridiculous. Or, take the fact that Caine's character, who has been appointed by the White House to head up the operation, spends more time tracking down a 10 year-old runaway than he does finding a solution to the bee problem. Unrealistic. The Swarm also features a couple of the most inane love story subplots I've seen. The first features Caine and Katharine Ross who never seem to get beyond admitting they "like" each other. How old are these people? 12? The second is the senior citizen love triangle that goes nowhere and has no real purpose. It's like watching a bad episode of "The Love Boat". Finally, some of the acting is downright atrocious. Caine and Ross are good actors when given decent material. But in The Swarm, Caine appears to be in it solely for the paycheck and Ross acts as if she realizes how bad it is and just wants out.

Picking the negatives out of The Swarm is like shooting fish in a barrel - it's impossible to miss. And I haven't even discussed the plot - killer African bees threaten the Southwest. Not a bad idea, but the execution in The Swarm is the worst.

In the 1970s, Irwin Allen had a string of hits using the same formula. He'd hire a bunch of A-list actors to appear in his films as 'guest stars' and then put them in the middle of some disaster such as an earthquake, shipwreck or a giant fire. While these films were pretty mindless and silly, they made lots of money...until "The Swarm". In contrast to his previous films, "The Swarm" kept the public away in (dare I say) swarms. It lost many millions--so much that Allen stopped making these mega-budgeted movies*. Frankly, this wasn't such a bad thing as the noted producer/director had simply gone to the well one time too many and the public was sick of these sort of pictures. Still, you have to wonder if despite all this, is "The Swarm" a decent film? Read on....

When the film begins, a variety of bee-induced accidents occur. When a top beeologist (or whatever you call them) tries to help, Dr. Crane (Michael Caine) is treated like dirt by the military, particularly General Slater (Richard Widmark). Grudgingly, they allow him to help but what can they do with some seriously nastified Africanized bees?! Not much--at least for much of the film, as you see tons of folks being attacked by these nasty bugs. Time and again, folks writhe about with bees or stunt bees buzzing about them.

Technically speaking, this film really isn't much different from other Allen mega-pictures. The characters are shallow and underdeveloped and writing is certainly NOT a strong point in the film. What sets this one apart is the bee attacks. While Allen and his staff tried hard to make it look realistic, watching famous and respected actors writhing about and thrashing as they're supposedly being killed by bees is unintentionally hilarious! Seeing someone burned to death in "The Towering Inferno" or drowning in "The Poseidon Adventure" isn't funny and really couldn't be. That is the main difference between "The Swarm" and previous Allen epics. Seeing Olivia de Havilland (one of my favorite actresses) moaning is funny! How often can you see super- famous Oscar-winning actress embarrass herself like this?! And don't just blame her...lots of other very respected actors appear in this silly film. However, the funniest acting is by the extras--as folks being attacked by bees invariably drive into walls (and explode),run about screaming as they're engulfed in flames and generally just run amok!!

"The Official Razzie Movie Guide" listed this film in their book of biggest mistakes in Hollywood history. Given that their list is heavy on the films of the last 40 years and how much money the film lost, I think it's a reasonable inclusion. But this does not mean its a horrible film--far worse have been made over the years. But few lost as much money as this one did and made bigger fools of a bunch of famous actors.

*Allen did make "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" a few years after this film but with many more B-listers in the film and a budget a tiny fraction of "The Swarm".

The Swarm was one of Irwin Allen's later disaster films where he was forever trying to top what he did in The Towering Inferno. In fact he creates something of an inferno in this film.

African killer bees have arrived in the USA and are proving to be most hardy creatures. Their calling card to the United States is to invade a top secret missile silo in Texas and kill nearly all the personnel stationed there. That's how the film opens up with General Richard Widmark arriving to investigate and coincidentally finding Michael Caine, renowned entomologist there as well.

To make up for the lousy script, both Widmark and Caine take turns shouting at each other throughout the film. Maybe Widmark is jealous because Caine's got lovely Katherine Ross at his side. Anyway they are three of a whole bunch of film names that signed on for this disaster film, took their paychecks and ran.

I remember on the old Dobie Gillis television series, Bob Denver's character Maynard G. Krebs was forever talking about going back to see his favorite film, The Monster That Devoured Cleveland. In this film Richard Widmark is the monster who set fire to Houston after the bees decide to make Houston their home. Actually he was partially on track in how to ultimately fight them.

The Swarm marked the farewell performance of Fred MacMurray. He, Ben Johnson and Olivia DeHavilland have a senior citizen romance thing going as citizens of the small town of Marysville Texas. The bees come there because they are having their annual flower festival. Couldn't resist that if you're a bee.

For fans of disaster films and stargazers only. By the way, does anyone else think Michael Caine sounds an awful lot like the Geico Gecko?