I quite enjoyed "The Hamiltons" of which "The Thompsons" is a kind of follow up, as they have fled away from th States to Europe, where they're up to no good.

They describe the difficult life of modern day vampires. With nowadays surveillance cameras it's not easy to get a drink of blood. After Running away from the US they go looking for their ancestors in Europe, from where Hamiltons origin, the Mandersons. And you could say that they find them. But the foreign visitors aren't politely received.

If you didn't know; you shouldn't be ashamed of being a vampire. In this film we get to know vampire life as the most common thing there is, being a vampire and a killer. And it's a disgrace to not be a real vampire.

It's a modern vampire story well told. The production values is once again very good. The Butcher Brothers knows how to tell their vampire stories, so that we almost start to believe them. It's gory, funny, disgusting and bloody, as a vampire slasher has too be. When the Butcher Brothers decide to do something really serious, they'll know how to do it.

However this story is told so disjointed and without any car, then it falls short from the original one. Too many stupid coincidences and plot holes makes this far off what it should have been. Sloppy, you could say. And that becomes boring and annoying.

You won't miss out if you stop watching this half ways, as the quality falls from there.

The only thing you miss out, is that they sympathetically drive off in an Audi S-line. A pity it'll have to be blood spattered...

I'm not sure if this movie is British or American or a mixture of both. But whatever it is, it's the biggest pile of rubbish this side of Transylvania.

The story begins at the end, with the central character telling a yarn about how he managed to wind up in a box. His story begins with two young people attempting to have sex out in the open in the English countryside. This seems to be a theme of this movie: bouncing boobs, naked bodies and a touch of lesbianism, all mixed with vampirism.

But the young couple are interrupted and murdered. No explanation other than their killers are two crazy young guys with knives.

We then move to an English village pub, where the central character, Francis Hamilton, gets involved in a fight, just after killing a British policeman.

There's also a phone call to an incestuous brother and sister who are having a threesome in France. Kinky and vampires - they end up slaying the female participant in their three-in-a-bed romp. Oh, and they also suck the blood out of a black guy who knocks on the door.

All this done in DAYLIGHT. Hang on, I thought vampires were supposed to hate the daylight. Or have hundreds of years of mythology been wrong? The story then switches again, to an 'earlier time', where there is another fight, but this time in America. It's daylight here too and there are vampires.

Does this sound very boring? Well, it is, and trying to maintain an interest in this trash is like trying to swim in a river of treacle.

And it continues in its merry way, until the end. None of it interesting. None of it scary. Acting is atrocious. A complete waste of time.

Please, don't bother. You'll never get that 90 minutes back.

1/10.

This production combines grindhouse with "Twilight" style vampires and doesn't do either one well. The film opens up in Ludlow, England as Francis (Cory Knauf) is looking for distant relatives and provides the far too used first person narration. The scene flashes back to the US then takes us back to England for no other reason then to try to look clever.

Francis is a vampire-type person. He and his family are on the lam after going berserk in a desert diner, caught on film. The youngest brother Lenny (Ryan Hartwig) got shot in the chest. Exactly how this family who lived isolated, wanted by the law, dragging along a bloody kid with a shotgun wound to the chest, gets overseas (I don't think they had passports either) is a plot point not mentioned. They are seeking help, as their parents are dead and they don't know how to cope with this genetic vampire issue they lived with their whole life.

The family splits up and Francis goes to Ludlow looking for answers not realizing predators don't like their territory to be overcrowded with rival predators.

The film has its grindhouse moments, but then dies. As a "Twilight" type film, the writing was simply too bad. While I liked the basic plot outline, the details and execution lacked forethought and planning. It appears they slapped something together knowing the public will buy it depending on how they sell it, such as placing "Twilight" and Tarantino's name on the jacket. It is not that good. For what it's worth: Elizabeth Henstridge can act better than frequent Razzy nominee Kristen Stewart.

Parental guidance: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Katarina Gellin, Zoe Grisedale, Elizabeth Henstridge or body double) Three stars is a stretch.