What an endearing mess!! Summed up as succinctly as possible, ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES concerns itself with a group of shipwreck victims who find themselves stranded on an uncharted island where they are set upon by a bunch of demonic alien Cabbige Patch dolls made up to look like Marilyn Manson. One by one the survivors are torn at, eaten, and reduced to clean-picked skeletons before they can effect any kind of rescue or escape plan. The Beast Creatures are fierce, hungry, innumerable and can seem to spawn anew whenever suffering losses: For every Beast Creature the humans whack like pulpy, exploding softballs as they fling themselves through the air, three more take their place. Eventually they are whittled down to the surviving love interest couple, who then ...

But why give away the ending? That and seeing the Beast Creatures up close & in action are the main reasons to bother with this cleverly constructed little home movie/grade Z creature feature howler made by a bunch of people who went on to do nothing more in the film industry. Aside from producer turned actor turned producer again, the late Jim Brown (III),who's other cinematic endeavors consist of such revealingly titled gems as DELTA FORCE COMMANDO, it's imaginatively titled followup DELTA FORCE COMMANDO II, BEHEADED 1000 and my favorite, the Viking horror saga BERSERKER. The world lost a true visionary with his passing, and this might stand as his greatest accomplishment.

One of the things that I instantly admired about the film was it's willingness to completely shred any artifice of what my be called "suspension of disbelief" and do so with such enthusiasm that you sort of forgive the film to being so ineptly executed: Visible puppeteer limbs, guide wires and thrown Beast Creatures flying in random trajectories take second place to the movie's gleeful abandoning of itself to the hazards of competence. Peter Jackson's team of 3d modelers may have worked gee, days on end to create King Kong for PETER JACKSON'S KING KONG: A PETER JACKSON MOVIE BY PETER JACKSON, but the effort in creating an actual presence on screen pales to the sight of a teeming swarm of these hand puppet Beasties clawing at the cocktail dress of the film's shapely heroine. I believe in them even though it is all fake, corny, slipshod and nappy lookin', not just because they are puppets which take up physical space (ahem, Yoda?),but because the filmmakers and cast believe in them and communicate their belief with frantic, frenzied conviction.

But like a lot of other horror thrillers the question remains, is it a good movie? Well no, quite frankly. But the film was made in such a manner that it defies the usual standards by which one judges film as an art. It's not that it wallows about in the gutter dwelling on gore or whatever, it's that the film doesn't care about those standards, has a story to tell and gets about doing so without ever once making any apologies for being just a stupid, tacky, frenetic little ball of fun. And that's what the Beast Creatures are too: The movie defines it's own reality, sticks to it and doesn't bother worrying about what anyone else is going to think critically. In fact to consider such a film on actual critical terms is a waste of time -- Either you enjoy it or you don't, standing around haggling about the merits or weaknesses after wards would miss the point of the film which is just to be entertaining.

6/10 for getting the job done.

The plot of "Attack of the Beast Creatures" is relatively simple:a group of castaways land on a mysterious and deserted North Atlantic island with trees and deadly acidic water.The island is inhabited by flesh-eating critters that promptly start killing survivors.Badly acted and amateurish horror flick that is strangely compelling and entertaining.There is a lot of walking in "Attack of the Beast Creatures",so patience is needed.The dialogue is outrageously banal,but the attack scenes are hilarious and bloody enough.The tiny wooden dolls are cute and they provide plenty of campy entertainment.They hide in the trees and run through grass like crazy in pursuit of their screaming victims.Nasty little natives,I kid ya not.Give this obscure little creature feature a look.8 out of 10.

Despite what you may have read or heard, this silly low-budgeter is a great rental despite whatever shortcomings it has. However, you might have an impossible time trying to track down a tape because this has been out of circulation for years.

Filmed in 1983, this concerns the struggle for survival among a small group of shipwreck survivors on a secluded island (really inland Fairfield, Connecticut, where this was filmed). A seemingly innocent water stream is actually full of acid as one poor parched man soon finds out, and worse, the island is home a cult of small, killer, TRILOGY OF TERROR-style dolls. The dolls have red faces, long black hair, glow-in-the-dark eyes and sharp pointy teeth. Their jaws open so they can screech and their arms move up and down when they scurry through the woods, but other than that, they are hilariously immobile.

I don't want to get too much into the story, but some of the assault/ambush techniques devised by the little critters are very amusing and the low-level POV camera-work and eerie music score service the entertaining story very well. This film is a blast!

Score: 6 out of 10