After seeing this movie I ran through the house screaming at the top of my lungs for several hours pausing occasionally only to bang my head repeatedly on the floor. And that was the MST3K version!! Imagine seeing this movie pure and undiluted! It's too horrible to conceive!

Seriously, this movie is not only the worst movie I've ever seen; it's the worst movie I can imagine being made! How could any be worse! Could Ed Wood make such a movie? Arch Hall Sr.? Ray Dennis Steckler? Phil Tucker? I don't think so. None can approach Hal P. Warren, sometime fertilizer salesman and would-be auteur, for producing total cinematic crap!

Now excuse me, I must go wash up. Just thinking of this movie makes me feel filthy all over...

As I indicated in the summary, Warren was a fertilizer salesman and frankly, his taking on the helm of this film isn't much of a stretch (insert your own scatological joke here). The film is a low-budget mess--so cheap and so badly put together that it is not at all hyperbole to say that Ed Wood never made a film quite this bad! Sure, Wood's films were horrible, but at least they had better production values than a 32 second limit to scenes due to the cheap equipment or the use of only three people to dub all the voices in the film! Heck, compared to this mess, PLAN 9 is a Merchant-Ivory production!!

The film begins with a guy getting lost with his family and refusing to ask for directions (insert own dumb husband joke here). Naturally, he arrives at a home whose caretaker is "special". This freaky guy talks about "the Master won't like you staying here" and crap like that and so what do these idiots do?! Yep, they get out and practically force themselves on this deformed halfwit. And, almost as soon as they get out of the car, the wife begins whining. You can tell she knew she was in a horror film because everything that happened sounded like it was the apocalypse. I half expected her to say something like "They have blue curtains....YAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or "Honey,....I think the couch is going to eat us....YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". I know that most of this was the problem of the dubbing, but it also looked like the lady was told to scream and act scared about everything!!

Well, the film only gets worse from this terrible start. When bad things finally do come, the screaming and silliness goes into overdrive. But, as another reviewer said, so many horrible things have been said about this dreadful film that it's hardly worth heaping on the criticism. The bottom line is that I cannot think of a single film that was directed, edited, acted or filmed as badly as this one....oh, and the script was written by a Fox Terrier. Bad, but perhaps a great film to watch and laugh at with friends.

If it wasn't for MST3K, I wouldn't have seen Manos: The Hands of Fate. I knew I had to see it to see if it really was that bad. The negative criticisms and those slamming it as the worst movie ever do not lie, Manos: The Hands of Fate is as bad as all that. There is such thing as a terrible movie that has novelty comic value, but there is also such thing as a movie that is too inept to take that into consideration. Some will disagree, but I consider Manos: The Hands of Fate as a good example of the latter. To call the way the movie is made amateurish is being too kind, the camera work and editing are all over the place and makes anything that happens incomprehensible. The visual effects are dated and make everything even more artificial than it already is, while the bizarre and often out of sync sound effects and a score that is shrill and monotonous are enough to make your ears bleed. And even when your poor ears are suffering enough, they are assaulted even more by dialogue that is stilted, insultingly cheesy and too talky and some of the worst and annoying acting ever in film history. The villain is quite possibly the most laughable and underwhelming villain ever and you'd be hard pressed to find one that is worse-acted than here. Torga is the best thing about Manos: The Hands of Fate, but that's saying nothing as he's still irritating. The direction is so flat that you have to look hard to find evidence of any direction at all, while the story is incredibly thin and is so plodding that you're dying of boredom. In conclusion, hopelessly inept. 0/10 Bethany Cox