The latest lame Hollywood blockbuster is definitely disappointing, and not in the least bit scary. Now, the original 1963 film wasn't scary either, but at least it managed to be creepy, with the aid of subtlety and suggestion. Just the opposite of this film, in fact. Jan De Bont shows that he should stick to making slick action pictures and has no idea how to scare us.

In fact, only the basic plot has been taken from the original film. Some scenes are copied, but in this film it's all basically overdrive on behalf of the special effects team. From the first moment on entering the house, ghostly faces are appearing on bed sheets and walls, and these just increase and increase throughout the film in number. The trouble is that only on two or three occasions are the characters put in danger by these effects, and the rest of the time you just know they're going to dissipate and not cause any harm to anyone.

The cast is full of familiar faces, such as Bruce Dern in a wild-haired role as a rarely-seen caretaker. Liam Neeson is good but goes through the paces as the stern doctor, he's no match for Richard Johnson in the original, but at least he's something of an actor. The same with Catherine Zeta Jones. Unfortunately, her character is the least subtle of them all, constantly wearing revealing clothes and flaunting her lesbianism. She fits her role like a glove. Lili Taylor, however, I didn't like. She's one of those actresses who think expressing fright is opening their mouths and eyes as wide as possible. It doesn't look like a believable expression, it just looks ridiculous. Taylor is sadly given the most to do and the largest role, but I just didn't warm to her at all. Owen Wilson is also awful in a comic relief role.

For the most part, the special effects are bad and totally unrealistic. Big faces coming out of the ground just don't look real at all, it looks like a computer game and nothing else. Therefore these kind of effects quickly become boring, as you expect what's coming, and there's just so much visual bombardment that it becomes tiring to watch. There are a handful of good scenes in the film, like a surprisingly brutal decapitation or Neeson getting attacked by a statue, but the ending is a real letdown with a sugary happy ending with angels and the like. The final apparition of the ghost is just a big guy in a cape, it might as well be Godzilla. Size isn't everything but that's something this film doesn't realise. Frankly, I think upcoming flicks like THE SIXTH SENSE, THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL remake and, of course, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT all look more promising than this silly and unsurprising entry into the genre. Nauseatingly bad.

Dr. David Marrow (Liam Neeson) is doing research on sleep disorders. Theo (Catherine Zeta-Jones),Luke Sanderson (Owen Wilson),and Nell (Lili Taylor) are the test subjects. Except they don't know that Dr Marrow is actually trying to scare them for their tests. That's why he bought them to an old garish mansion. The Dudleys (Bruce Dern, Marian Seldes) are the caretakers. Todd Field and Alix Koromzay play the doctor's assistants. Eventually only the four leads remain in the house and the movie really starts.

The four leads are capable actors. Although Lili Taylor can be grinding as the poor victim character. The story goes slowly for far too long. The house is not scary as much as it's a Hollywood fun ride. The problem is really the fact that the mansion lack the basic sense of dread. The CG really adds an artificial feel to the whole movie.

Robert Wise's very creepy movie version of "The Haunting" was a very well done movie; watching it, you may feel like your blood is freezing. So how did Jan de Bont do remaking the movie? Ridiculous is the best word to describe it. If anything, the whole movie seems like it's trying to be funny (much of it is actually pretty laughable). Where they could play some neat tricks - or at least play with the audience - they stick in a bunch of special effects, namely the house's eyes.

As for the cast, Lili Taylor, Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Owen Wilson are all dependable people, but they have nothing to work with here. In fact, the first two seem like the only ones suited to a horror flick. Overall, the movie looks more like an advertisement for what Catherine Zeta-Jones is wearing.

So, just avoid this hunk of junk. A far better horror movie from 1999 was "The Blair Witch Project", and there are far superior movies about haunted houses. This one is laughable. Also starring Bruce Dern, Todd Field and Virginia Madsen (happy birthday!),and they probably don't wish to emphasize this flick when submitting their resumes.

If I may add just one more thing, I'd say that it's an affront to all the people killed in the September 11 attacks that I have to review this crappy movie on the fifth anniversary of that fateful day.