Here's another movie that should be loaded into a satellite, fired into space and pointed in the direction of the galaxy Andromeda to show distant possible civilizations the best of humanity. This movie is so endearingly stupid and revealingly honest in being little more than a rip-off of the already bad movie classic KING KONG from 1976 that it not only manages to upstage that film in terms of sheer belly laugh idiotic goofiness, but successfully predicted much of Peter Jackson's miserable 2005 computer cartoon bearing the same name, as far as a "romance" between the giant (here a Yeti) and a gorgeous human female (Antonellina Interlenghi of Umberto Lenzi's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, who is very easy on the eyes).

The film was made for kids so aside from some innuendo over fish bones and a bizarre nipple tweak to say goodbye you can forget about sex -- the Yeti even has a sort of giant jock strap to cover up his monstrous package, the result being even more amusing than anatomical correctness. But as a trade-off you DO get a wacky old scientist, two inquisitive kids, Tony Kendall in a rare turn as a duplicitous bastard of a villain, a helpful intelligent collie dog who gets to have her own adventure (Dog Adventure movies were big in Europe for a while) and of course emerges as the hero at the end for saving the Yeti, who turns out to be the good guy, glorious stuff like front end loaders decorated to look like giant ape hands, a monster who's size literally changes scale from shot to shot, some inappropriately horrible deaths that will make the carnage in GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER look tame by comparison, crowd reaction shots a-plenty made up of either Spanish, Italian or Canadian extras depending upon scene (you can sort of tell where they were shooting from how the extras are dressed),and some of the most enthusiastically staged but inept special effects work ever in a giant monkey movie.

It's here that the film won me over: It's enthusiasm just for being made. Frank Kramer is actually the same Gianfranco Parolini who brought the world SARTANA in 1968 and GOD'S GUN the year before this & was a very important director in the Spaghetti Western and action/adventure genre film scene from the 1960's/1970's and by the time of YETI he was probably delighted to get the work. I would say that this is his most adventuresome movie ever, or rather the one he took the most chances with, and may have felt more comfortable taking those chances with the film aimed at kids & families. The movie has a kind of reckless abandon to the way it was made that renders the technical errors or inconsistencies totally meaningless. Or rather they are part of the fun, and if the movie had been played seriously it wouldn't have worked -- WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY PETER JACKSON'S MOVIE SUCKED.

He forgot to have fun with the material and let it dictate the outcome using his army of stupid Power Macintosh pod people animators, and with all it's faults + clunkiness, Kramer's YETI is actually closer to the spirit of why we watch movies like this, which is partly to see actors in ape suits tearing apart miniature sets on sound stages, not seamlessly animated vapid hours of nothing other than hard drive space. I'd rank this up there with KING KONG VERSUS GODZILLA and IT! CURSE OF THE GREAT GOLEM as one of the most enjoyably improbable giant rampaging monster movies ever. Because the movie looks so "fake" you can get over the story and just have fun watching stuff get wrecked, trampled, tossed about and smashed. Knowing that and armed with a fertile, energetic enthusiasm for having the chance to make the movie, Parolini pulled out all the stops and delivers a full bodied adventure that might get a bit rough for some of the small tykes but is the first movie I will ever share with the grandkids someday when their stupid parents leave them with me for a weekend. This is stuff for the ages and one of the most telling expressions of humanity to ever be committed to celluloid.

10/10, it's about ten minutes too long but who cares, you only come around once and I'd rather go out with a smile on my face.

The Yeti falls in love with the girl because she accidentally made his nipple go hard. That means that someone actually constructed a huge 'fake yeti nipple' out of plastic, with the ability to make it go hard. This film is ready to go that extra mile to be stupid.

This King Kong rip-off features giant Yeti being found in Northern Canada like a frozen ready meal and is promptly melted by a keen scientist on behalf of a multi-millionaire. The millionaire wants to exploit that Yeti for monetary gain and the scientist wants to do science type things with it.

Neither of them really think things through and they melt the thing while it's suspended from a helicopter in a cage and the next thing you know the Yeti is in a bad mood and everyone else is panicking. "Look out - he's got a tree!"

One person exclaims before the Yeti makes friends with the millionaire's niece and nephew, or at least thinks the niece is his other half due to the aforementioned nipple scene. He also gives the two of them while reserving a fish the size of a dolphin for himself.

Romance blossoms (rather one-sidedly) as the Yeti combs the nieces hair with a giant fishbone and after they heal a random gunshot wound the Yeti received, everyone becomes buddies. Except Tony Kendall who of course is a two-faced bad guy working for a rival company on the side.

Yeti should really be one of the greatest bad films ever made, but it's about twenty minutes too long and by the end I wasn't sure if it was made to be aimed at kids, due to the Yeti going mental and killing about a dozen bad guys. You've got to dig that slow-mo reunion scene at the end mind you.

The Yeti himself really looks like he has Barry Gibb's head placed on Burt Reynolds body and did an awful lot of screaming and window smashing, but not much rampaging as he was supposed to be a good guy. There's a lot of interaction between him and the kids which slows the film down, but I don't know - it's hard to hate a yeti film.

YETI deserves the 8 star rating because it is the one of the greatest bad movies ever made. I saw it at a midnight screening in L.A. and people were roaring and cheering at the insanity - this movie is one of those cinematic trainwrecks where you think it cant get any stranger and THEN IT DOES! The millionaire who funds the project to thaw the Yeti looks like Chris Penn and John Goodman both poured into an ill-fitting suit - the guy playing the scientist is one of the worst actors to ever appear on screen - and yes, there is a mute boy (who sorta kinda looks like a girl) and he's mute ever since he survived a plane crash that killed both his parents (hmmm- maybe therapy for the kid??). Then this hottie Italian girl is seen by Yeti (once he thaws - which takes FOREVER) -- and he is instantly in love with her - what is one of the most hysterical things about the movie is that this giant Yeti makes "bedroom eyes" at her - it's like a large Barry White trying to seduce a groupie. In fact, once the large Yeti picks up the hottie and has her against his chest - she accidentally touches the Yeti's nipple and yes, the film takes the time to show his large grey nipple GET HARD!!!! Yikes of all YIKES! Plus there's a collie dog in it because the Italian producer must have heard that American audiences like dogs and he sorta kinda tried to get a Lassie - there's also this insane scene where the Yeti eats a giant fish - keeps the large fishbone and uses it to comb the Italian girl's hair "Gee, thanks Yeti - now my hair is smooth and smells like dead trout. You're the best." This film is more bizarre than something Ed Wood could have ever dreamt up. If you are a fan of classic cinema crap - seek this baby out.